Was there a match Saturday? All I can remember is some blue and yellow blobs meandering around an empty stadium between my retreats into slumber. But I see a final score and match reports, so there must have been a match, right?

If anybody watched this Kansas City Wizards-Columbus Crew showdown looking for a taste of Major League Soccer, they came away with a bitter sensation on their tongue, or perhaps the blankness of water without the delicious refreshment. Maybe it was two straight nights of sleep deprivation, but I could barely bear to pay attention to this match, much less keep a running diary. KC had a few more offensive flourishes, but for the most part both teams dicked around at midfield and sprung ill-advised long balls. It was a study in painful monotony, a display in no way akin to the sport known around the world as "the beautiful game." Even the inevitable 90th-minute tally from the Wizards' Jose Burciaga was predictable.

Was there a match Saturday? All I can remember is some blue and yellow blobs meandering around an empty stadium between my retreats into slumber. But I see a final score and match reports, so there must have been a match, right?

If anybody watched this Kansas City Wizards-Columbus Crew showdown looking for a taste of Major League Soccer, they came away with a bitter sensation on their tongue, or perhaps the blankness of water without the delicious refreshment. Maybe it was two straight nights of sleep deprivation, but I could barely bear to pay attention to this match, much less keep a running diary. KC had a few more offensive flourishes, but for the most part both teams dicked around at midfield and sprung ill-advised long balls. It was a study in painful monotony, a display in no way akin to the sport known around the world as "the beautiful game." Even the inevitable 90th-minute tally from the Wizards' Jose Burciaga was predictable.

Forgive my melodrama, but I ache knowing that matches like this are more the norm than the exception. It's not like other leagues don't have their share of duds—the NBA just went through a painful regular season, and Major League Baseball lasts far too long to sustain suspense on a day to day basis. But I don't go in expecting mediocrity like I do when I turn to MLS. Given the Crew's excellent play throughout the first few games of the season, I thought this situation was on its way to resolution. A matinee like this only serves to get me down in the dumps as a domestic soccer fan.

As for the Crew, they sabotaged any sort of momentum they established with last week's victory, playing flat all game, especially in the first half, when they failed to get off a shot. I'm not even handing out awards for this one; suffice it to say they all sucked. The one glimmer of hope was newly signed Argentine striker Guillermo Barros Schelotto, who made his Crew debut under the worst possible circumstances. Guille showed his brilliance immediately with a series of creative moves, but his fire was quickly doused by the soggy surroundings.

Let's hope this weekend's home showdown with Chivas is a return to form, or else we could all be in for one long season.