If you’re just now joining the “Titanic” ode, welcome to the party. To celebrate the movie coming back to theaters this week, I’ve been taking a look back at 1997 pop culture, like music, style and heartthrobs.
The movie opened in theaters yesterday and your Facebook feed has no doubt gone from being blown up with posts about “Titanic” to posts about opening day. But I, much like James Cameron with “Titanic,” will make things keep going… and going… and going. (I’m running out of 1997 jokes, though, so for real tomorrow’s the last day for this blog series.)
For this installment, here are other 1997 films I would like the Hollywood Powers That Be to consider for 3D. On the do-not-attempt list are “Good Will Hunting” (yawn) and “As Good As It Gets.”
Correction: “As Good As It Gets” might actually work in 3D. Turns out I’ve never seen it. I was getting it confused with “Something’s Gotta Give” (2003). The thought of 3D Diane Keaton as Stuck Up Mom in love with Grandpa Bro who is dating Cookie Cutter Daughter sounded as painful as the thought of dating a Grandpa Bro. After some research, I don’t feel stupid for this initial error. Jack Nicholson looks like exactly the same character in both movie covers and the two films are even sold together as a package deal on Amazon. Whomp, whomp.
Movies made in 1997 that I would pay to see again in 3D are as follows.
“The Lost World: Jurassic Park”
Synopsis: The company that made the dinosaurs from the original Jurassic Park happen kind of just don’t tell anyone about a second site where blood thirsty dinosaurs are still living. They go bankrupt and another owner takes over the dinosaurs. People come to see them. People die.
Potential problems: Might take away the buzz from the upcoming “Jurassic Park IV” that is in the works.
Box office gold selling point: The return of Jeff Goldblum.
“The Full Monty”
Synopsis: This British comedy (starring the Rumpelstiltskin actor from “Once Upon a Time”) is about a group of average-looking unemployed and laid-off factory workers who decide, like anyone down on their financial luck, to get some boys together and put on a strip show to raise money.
Potential problems: 3D hip thrusting might require a rating more severe than R.
Box office gold selling point: The return of “The Full Monty.”
“Men In Black”
Synopsis: A serious top-secret agency man and his unpredictable, unlikely sidekick fight aliens and save the world by—spoiler!!—finding a cat.
Potential problems: No problems to see here, people. Just your average, plain-old 3D movie happening. That giant millipede that just destroyed this movie theater was all part of the show.
Box office gold selling point: The 3D glasses will look exactly like the ones Jay and Kay wear for protection when memory-erasing. Plus, moviegoers who pay $5 more get a free bottle of sugar water!
“My Best Friend’s Wedding”
Synopsis: Just your typical rom-com love triangle that, atypically, actually has a real-world ending.
Potential problems: Julia Roberts’ ‘90s hair might overwhelm the screen when in 3D.
Box office gold selling point: Get in a new generation of fans by promoting this movie as the adult, one-song version of “Glee.” Busting out a song in perfect harmony out of nowhere is always in vogue. In fact, I’m singing and preparing for a dance off with Alive writer Chris DeVille right... now.... finger snap!