Under the Table

Sometimes, I like to get a half & half of fairly healthy but full-flavored stewy stuff at Firdous Express. Recently, I went with this chicken and collard greens/daily special (chicken with chickpeas in spicy tomato sauce) with extra salad instead of a rice serving--a pretty fine and "there will be leftovers" large munch for $8.

Since I skipped the Firdous rice, I felt like I needed to splurge on carbs elsewhere, so I hit up Expressly Market Bakery & Bistro for this homey "chicken muffin" ($5). When topped with the white wine chicken gravy, the combo tasted a little tetrazini-y (but in a good way).

Hint: if you're bored and peckish yet none of your go-tos sounds fun, take a cruise through the North Market--you're sure to bump into someone unexpected who turns out having something interesting to say and you're guaranteed to find something unexpectedly neat to eat too. In other words: Serendipity, thy name is North Market.

This Spicy Vegetable Roll from Omega Artisan Baking in the North Market is my new favorite treat. Big and filling enough to serve as breakfast or even lunch, it's kinda like a calzone, only good.

So instead of a cheap bread bomb filled with lost-in-all-that-dough crap (you know, like practically every calzone you've ever eaten), this thing is a blast of irresistible and potent flavors. Scented with garlic, it's a warm, yeasty, buttery and just-baked high quality roll that yields to blistered and melted pepper jack cheese jacked-up by big pieces of portabella mushroom, seared red peppers and sauteed onions. Igniting the whole ratatouille-like ensemble is a surprisingly fiery tomato sauce. I hereby defy all-veggie-meal dismissive types not to absolutely love this far-from-subtle beauty. Note: it's $6.00 and only available on Saturdays (thanks to Sue T. for the awesome tip!)

Yeah, there's an epic Food Cart festival happening tonight at Columbus Commons. But what if sampling from 270 wines in a less raucous and thoroughly gorgeous setting is more your thing? Well you can do that, too.

The weather's great so if you are more into the grape, head out to Franklin Park Conservatory for this year's Columbus Wine Festival , where $27 (advance, $35 at the door) allows you 10 tastes of lovely wines. There will also be bands, food, a beer garten and a goofy-fun judged sangria contest.

See you at the Conservatory! (The Festival runs from 4-10 pm today and 3-9 pm Saturday. $10 designated driver tickets are also available)

These eggplant chips were as much crispy fried flour crust as sliver-sliced vegetable and therefore a sneaky way to confuse eggplant-haters.

I rarely order pepperoni on a pizza because I'm more of a sausage man (insert joke here), especially when the sausage is produced in-house (second insert).

But Element's wildly spicy version is one I'll come back for. It's heated-up with chili flakes and lightly cooled-off with fresh mozzarella, but neither of those second and tertiary fiddles gets in the way of the spicy star: a proliferation of bacony pepperoni.

Note: this kind of pepperoni is known in the industry as collagen-cased, meaning it's sliced with the casing still on--meaning as the pizza bakes, the casing strips shrink, and this causes the meat discs to "cup-up".

See my full review in the next Alive

Knead is breathing life into a disappearing local classic with this inspired preparation:

Cincinnati has its cinnamon-tinged chili; Cleveland has its all-in-one Polish Boy sandwich (kielbasa on a hot dog bun with the fries conveniently applied like a condiment); and Columbus has the notorious Johnny Marzetti.

Like a meal-stretching precursor to the dreaded Hamburger Helper, JM was an amalgam of leftovers anchored by pasta that mimicked something Italian. Ostensibly invented at Marzetti's Restaurant (yes, the salad dressing people--they ran what was widely considered the best restaurant in town back in the Dark Ages), JM is better known these days as a (now nearly extinct) bane of school cafeterias and college dining halls.

In the delightful version above, Chef Lopez uses locally raised turkey, handmade noodles and Canal Junction white cheddar to make what is in essence is a green peppery Bolognese-sauced casserole.

Way to take back a much-maligned classic, Chef Rick!

G. Michael's Bistro just rolled out a new menu and I popped in on an HH reconnaissance mission. BTW, G.Mike's easily has one of the best HHs in town ($6 small plates that ain't that small and are fully realized courses plus $5 "design-your-own-if-you-want" martinis, e.g. Watershed up)

This Cold Appetizer Trio with Lowcountry pimento cheese, a lovely and mousse-y smoked trout pate, and marvelously tart housemade spicy bread and butter pickles is a must!

Speaking of "musts", this killer Fried Green Tomatoes with bacon and truffled egg salad, grilled napa cabbage and shaved gruyere was another big highlight

The Coconut marinated Grilled Watermelon with arugula salad, lime dressing, and rum-candied peanuts offered nice and light relief from the delicious decadence

But it was back to irresistible richness with G. Michael's sinfully great take on a S'more, which included a homemade graham-cracker like brownie and more blistered marshmallow fluff than should be allowed on one plate

The off-menu Coconut Chocolate Chip bar was another winner; topped with Jeni's Salty Caramel and caramel sauce, I think I even liked it more than the s'more

I would be remiss if I didn't alert you to another (but alas, not captured by photo) must: the homemade wild boar sausage with a scene-stealing plateful of zingy blackeyed peas and hominy

G. Michael's Bistro

Cold Appetizer Trio with Lowcountry pimento cheese, smoked trout pate, and house made spicy bread and butter pickles

Fried Green Tomatoes with bacon and truffled egg salad, grilled napa cabbage and shaved gruyere

Coconut marinated Grilled Watermelon with arugula salad, lime dressing, and rum-candied peanuts

G. Michael's sinfully great take on a S'more included a homemade graham-cracker like brownie and more marshmallow fluff than should be allowed on one plate

The off-menu Coconut Chocolate Chip bar was another winner; topped with Jeni's Salty Caramel and caramel sauce

Now that the hellish weather has broken for a couple days, going out sounds better than ever, doesn't it? Here's a few fun-tastic events.

Alana is hosting her first all-vegetarian wine dinner tonight (hard to believe considering she's sorta the local Veggie Queen), and the menu looks great. Plus the wines are all nicely selected for warm weather (Rose, Roussane, Grenache and such). Plus plus, it's a terrific freakin' deal--all inclusive, out the door for 50 bucks.

Saturday, the North Market's having an all-day party called the Farmer's Festival. Expect the usual panoply of stellar Ohio produce but also free Jeni's ice cream, music and giggly contests like the "Ugly Tomato" competition and the "You say tomato, I say tom-ah-to" (surely named by the Fun-with-Puns-loving Mary Martineau) professional chef tomato-off.

See you there!

I like the freakshow aspects of the fair best. The poultry exhibit, which contains space alien-ish specimens like Mr. "Brainiac" Turkey here, is a great place to take in the strangeness of the natural world. See you in November, buddy.

This little piggy went to Scorch-town. Hey, don't unduly fret about Little Hoggy --I hear before he got full of skewer, he was pretty full of himself instead and he JUST WOULDN'T LISTEN! So, you know, he kinda had it coming.

Him: "What the hell you lookin' at?" Me: "Nothing, sir"

The best 17 seconds of my week. Seriously, this surprisingly swift-moving slide was a real-deal thrill. A must!

This little piggy went to All-Covered-In Chocolate-Town. I suppose Cocoa Pork could taste good if scented with cloves, cinnamon and chilies, a la Mexicana. Of course, this ain't real--just one of the Fair's many, many captivating artworks.

Speaking of captivating art--the Di Salle Creative Arts building is like a dazzling imaginarium--check out these wondrously carved watermelons...

...and this goofy Shoe-cake..

...and (speaking of taking the cake) this stunning Crapper-cake! Fittingly, it took second place in competition!, you know, it was "number two"

Loved this--and the thought that someone in Ohio is (as a nearby plaque informed) a "Master Sand Carver" also fills me with delight.

Gotta take the Skyride--another (along with the Ferris Wheel, not pictured) MUST!

I call this picture BEFORE...

...and this After.

Probably the single best thing to eat at the fair is a simple and exceedingly fresh lamb sandwich. Juicy, tender and full of honest flavor, it's real food, not some silly deep-fried gimmick. Plus, it went great with a couple sips of wine (best deal: $1 "shots"); I got both in the must-visit Taste of Ohio Pavilion.

Frankly, sometimes the fair can be just a steamy-hot and caged-animal-stinky experience, but this year, against odds (was it the 4 shots of wine?) I kinda had a terrific time.

See you there next year!

Red curry (not bad if not super-nuanced) and (spearminty, laarb-like and very good) lap kai at Westgate Thai. I'd been hearing positive things about this teeny, three-table place lately, so I checked it out for lunch last weekend. It's one of those back-of-a-store operations where you eat amidst a jumble of boxes containing, say, cheap, imported flip-flops and mung bean noodles. Located just down the street from the Fine Line Tattoo parlor (yes, the notorious Buckeye hangout!), it's run by a true mom-n-pop team: an inquisitive and garrulous guy who within about five minutes had told me much of his life story (Vietnam era military vet stationed in Thailand who returned home with a wife); and his real sweetheart of a wife who, according to hubby, worked at Bob Evans for a very long time but now gets to cook her own food and who, according to my experience, looks genuinely dismayed if you don't eat every last bite of a giant order.

For dinner, I went out to the quaint and cute city of Delaware (outside of which a bet-hedging sign announces "One of Ohio's best communities") to the clever 1808 American Bistro (named for the year Delaware was founded). Run by people who opened "8" (remember that nifty Short Norther?) and the Burgundy Room, this comfy but not at all un-chic place is a winner.

So was the above 48-hour sous vide short ribs and...

... the well-named Butter Noodles (made with sheets of pappardelle)...

...and a very nice--and light (this place generally prefers rich)-- mahi mahi done Mexican-ish

Since 1808 offers 29 beers on tap--most of them high-achieving microbrews, but none of them green (that'll make sense in a minute)--I felt obligated to taste a few (they're half-priced at HH!).

It turned out to be a great headstart for my next stop at the wildly packed Ace of Cups for the fledgling club's first of what's hopefully many music shows. That night, I saw the fun and barky Ex-Whites open up for the mighty Scrawl. lf you missed it, check out the linked videos (love how Jovan Karcic's powerful pounding propels the songs and creates an unyieldingly firm and crisp backbone). Thanks to @surlyshirley for the videos!!