(Metro-Rentals.com photos)

After the third property crime visited upon me in my German Village apartment (I've lived there about eight months), I was perusing Metro-Rentals.com and found the most amazing residence in Columbus -- for rent.

The Schwartz Castle, as it's known, is located at 490 S. Third St. in historic German Village and offers a wide range of amenities you've only dreamed about or seen on Cribs. These include: private elevator, ballroom, movie theater and a kitchen in a fourth-floor turret.

Which brings me to this post: I need nine other people to rent with me, bringing the $5,900 per month rent (excluding utilities) down to a reasonable portion for me. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and something like this can define a man.

The way I see it, we can put a series of bunk beds in one room, leaving most of the 5,000 square feet open for badass ragers with various themes. This will be the convergence of Animal House and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. This dream can be yours after background and credit checks and a security deposit.

Take the video tour and then see more photos after the jump...

(Metro-Rentals.com photos)

After the third property crime visited upon me in my German Village apartment (I've lived there about eight months), I was perusing Metro-Rentals.com and found the most amazing residence in Columbus -- for rent.

The Schwartz Castle, as it's known, is located at 490 S. Third St. in historic German Village and offers a wide range of amenities you've only dreamed about or seen on Cribs. These include: private elevator, ballroom, movie theater and a kitchen in a fourth-floor turret.

Which brings me to this post: I need nine other people to rent with me, bringing the $5,900 per month rent (excluding utilities) down to a reasonable portion for me. This is the opportunity of a lifetime, and something like this can define a man.

The way I see it, we can put a series of bunk beds in one room, leaving most of the 5,000 square feet open for badass ragers with various themes. This will be the convergence of Animal House and Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. This dream can be yours after background and credit checks and a security deposit.

Take the video tour and then see more photos after the jump...

Here are some of the fantastic rooms, which blend modern stylings with, you know, a castle.

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