It should be noted that the following instructions are not intended for the casual eater. These are serious guidelines for folks who are serious about maximizing their intake at the buffet. Realizing one's consumption potential and truly getting the most bang for your buck in an all-you-can-eat situation is not as simple as it may sound. Follow these steps and never leave a buffet disappointed.

It should be noted that the following instructions are not intended for the casual eater. These are serious guidelines for folks who are serious about maximizing their intake at the buffet. Realizing one's consumption potential and truly getting the most bang for your buck in an all-you-can-eat situation is not as simple as it may sound. Follow these steps and never leave a buffet disappointed.

1. Dress for success

While sweatpants are rarely seen as suitable dinner attire, the buffet is one of the few exceptions. In fact, it's not even a matter of fashion; it's a matter of comfort. A waistline will expand anywhere from two to 17 inches during a trip to the local smorgasbord (guesstimation). Elastic is the best way to curtail the discomfort.

2. Avoid the Noid

Items that are high in carbs tend to be more filling, so eating pizza, bread or spaghetti will make it an early knockout. These should be "last trip" items. If there's still room after sampling everything, by all means, attack!

3. Take it all in

The purpose of a buffet is to provide variety. A plate should be treated like a painter's pallet, with small portions of several different items covering the dish. Filling a plate with mashed potatoes or tacos is foolish.

4. Don't make a mis-steak

Just because a buffet offers steak does not mean it should be eaten. There's a reason this beef is included in the all-you-can-eat special for $10.99 - it's not good. Don't eat it.

5. Save room for dessert

Leave a small amount of stomach space for some soft serve. And since your goal is to eat as much as possible, it makes sense to cover the aforementioned soft serve with every topping available. Now sit back, relax, and wait for the digestion to begin!