While watching LeBron James repeatedly put the ball in the basket during this (so far) glorious playoff run of the Cleveland Cavaliers, I was also repeatedly subjected to a television ad in which someone put something where it did not belong. Or did it?

While watching LeBron James repeatedly put the ball in the basket during this (so far) glorious playoff run of the Cleveland Cavaliers, I was also repeatedly subjected to a television ad in which someone put something where it did not belong. Or did it?

What I tried: Domino's Italian Sausage Marinara ($6) and Pasta Primavera bread bowls ($7)

Just a little outside: Trying to imagine the "pitch" to Domino's top executives from the brain trust that conceived of this chimerical beast makes me dizzy. Maybe they thought eating pasta with a fork was too complicated for the average Domino's fan. Or it took too long to devour that way.

If so, then why not attach feedbag-like earstraps to the pasta bread bowl in order to bypass most of the cumbersome handwork needed to eat the damn thing. The straps could even be dessert if they're made out of flexible yet edible breadsticks flavored with sugar and cinnamon.

It's highly likely that the Domino's idea dream team took inspiration from that old dip- or soup-in-a-bread-bowl thing. While the original model makes some kind of sense, adding pasta to what is basically a deep-dish pizza does not.

Maybe its creators are counting on more heavy backlash to the Atkins Diet trend. If so, then can we soon expect a Domino's Bacon and Egg Carbonara Bread Bowl with biscuits, pancakes, syrup and home fries?

The Italian Sausage Marinara: Opening the box, I was stymied by the smell of garlic powder. But one bite in, I thought, "I don't hate it." Two bites in, I changed my mind.

The sweet and salty, jarred-Ragu-like sauce was a turnoff, as was the decidedly non-al-dente penne, which just seemed stupid and superfluous. The sausage tasted OK - it was uniform pellets flavored with garlic and fennel seed.

The Pasta Primavera: Like its brother, the Primavera PBB had an irregularly shaped and not unattractively browned crust that was big and puffy and maintained its exterior crispness a long time (better crunching through chemistry!). But one bite in, I began to miss the Italian Sausage PBB - this one was much worse.

Like that sausage PBB, the Primavera was also overwhelmed by salt and a chemically flavored garlic-butter-esque compound that left a very bad taste in my mouth. But this one also had a phony and watery "alfredo" sauce.

Veggie-wise, there were a few rare pieces of mushroom and spinach mingling with chunks of raw-tasting onion. The blobs of canned stewed tomatoes were the best part.

Would I eat it again?: No way. Not only do they not taste good, but Domino's website won't even reveal what kind of a caloric nightmare they are.

Spot a new menu item you'd like Taste Test to try? E-mail gbenton@columbusalive.com