Creed: Buncha d-bags, if you ask me! Many music fans (and nearly all music critics) would agree that's an easy case to make, but I'm going to make it anyway because it's also a fun case to make.

Creed: Buncha d-bags, if you ask me! Many music fans (and nearly all music critics) would agree that's an easy case to make, but I'm going to make it anyway because it's also a fun case to make.

I think I'm still feeding on the audacious, giddy simplicity of Inglourious Basterds because a baseball bat to the head of one of pop music's great perpetrators sounds just right. So without further ado, in honor of the band's reunion tour stop at Nationwide Arena, here are the 10 douchiest things about Creed.

(10) The trash talk: Creed is basically Pearl Jam stripped of any redeeming value, and the music press isn't shy about proclaiming it. So when Creed's founding bassist Brian Marshall attacked Eddie Vedder for writing songs without hooks, Marshall proved himself to be not just a coattail rider but a jealous, insecure coattail rider. The band kicked him out soon afterward.

(9) The reneg: For this reunion tour, Creed actually let Marshall back in the band. Sure, he pulled that crap 10 years ago, but do you really want someone in your band who thinks Creed is better than Pearl Jam?

(8) The contest: One local radio station recently advertised a contest that would allow the winner a chance to play Guitar Hero backstage with Creed guitarist Mark Tremonti. ("He's so hot!" the advert shamelessly exclaimed.) Can you think of a worse way to spend your Wednesday night than groping plastic children's toys with Mark Tremonti?

(7) The desecration of Jim Morrison: Creed frontman Scott Stapp famously filled in on vocals during a Doors reunion tour. The Doors aren't even that good, but when you read Ray Manczarek comparing Stapp favorably with the Lizard King, it puts the whole enterprise into sickening perspective.

(6) Alter Bridge: After Stapp left in 2005 to work on a solo album, the remaining members of Creed formed a new band with sound-alike Myles Kennedy. Predictably, that band also sucked.

(5) The music videos: From the numerous mountaintop vistas to the bizarre Stapp-on-Stapp flirtation of "My Sacrifice," Creed never fails to deliver grandiose gestures both vacant and heavy-handed.

(4) The lyrics: First Christ was crucified; now he bears the burden of having mediocre power ballads written about him? And you thought Mel Gibson was sadistic!

(3) The vocals: Stapp's post-Vedder butt-rock howl is about as rich and stimulating as Olive Garden's never-ending pasta bowl.

(2) The facial expressions: Watching Stapp contort his face into sensitive stud mode really makes you appreciate Brendan Fraser's thespian instincts.

(1) The Jesus Christ pose: Even more abomination of desolation! Chris Cornell called out poseurs like Stapp long before Creed took its first sludgy step on stage, but the message rings true to this day: You ain't nobody's messiah.