Before I start spilling the beans, I'm going to ask a big favor of a certain segment of the audience.

Before I start spilling the beans, I'm going to ask a big favor of a certain segment of the audience.

I'm actually going to ask some people to please stop reading this now if you're a) the kind of "can't keep a secret" blabbermouth who'll ruin the following phenomenal bargain by informing all your friends about it, or b) one of those hoggy, light-drinking cheap tippers who'll take advantage of the deal to the point it gets repealed.

You see, I only want the most considerate and conscientious diners out there in on this - and I also desperately need to ensure I can continue to cash in on it myself. Therefore, I implore you "eat it and beat it" types to immediately turn the page - there's plenty of other cool stuff to read in this Alive anyway.

OK, are we alone? Good, listen to this: the awesome Top Steak House has two mind-blowing Monday-night specials that could recolor the very way you think about the days of the week. That's right, blue Monday is going to go golden for you with this red-hot deal.

So how about a mammoth slab of a jaw-droppingly delicious prime-rib sandwich served with a spilling-over amount of good, crispy fries for - shhh! - $5? Or, if you're "splurging," you can score a fantastic full-meal surf-and-turf dinner similar to the Top's recent Restaurant Week offer for a man-is-it-worth-it $20. The only stipulation is that you must order in the bar area. For me that's a no-brainer, because that's where I want to be.

Surrounded by charmingly carved wood, it's cool and dark in the Top's bar, as should be for an old-school steakhouse. Plus, only a few feet away is the expert Rat-Packy piano tinkler, and those live retro tunes are always a great beef-chomping mood enhancer.

And all around the brassy metal bar top sit regulars tossing about first names while tossing back another Monday night special - $5 margaritas. Those cocktails are served in a pleasure-center-reaching highball glass with real heft to it and the drinks are about half as sweet and twice as good as most other generic house margaritas.

As for that marvelous monster sandwich, it gets treated to an oniony seasoned-salt-seared crust plus an application of homey, rich coleslaw. I defy you to find a better deal in town.

Unless it's maybe the $20 surf-and-turf. That meal is preceded by a large salad on a chilled plate - go with the aggressive, tart-sweet house vinaigrette garnished with blue cheese, but get the (otherwise heavily applied) dressing on the side.

When dinner arrives, it'll be a sweet, small lobster tail conveniently removed from its shell and broiled until just crisp- it's never mushy (too often a lobster boo-boo). The excellent prime beef filet will be tender and juicy and absolutely irresistible.

Now toss in one of the Top's incomparable baked potatoes and you'll see why you'll see me here often watching Monday Night Football while grinning, drinking and lingering with just a couple of good friends and, of course, tipping big.