5. Wave money.

For added layers of contempt, snap your fingers, shout rudely and whistle.

4. Stand in the way.

Busy bartenders need their space, so avoid clogging the server station and hanging over the bar to attract attention.

3. Forget your surroundings.

If a neon sign reads "Bud 'N Pizza," don't order anything that requires a blender.

2. Ask him/her on a date.

They've heard every line you've ever had - twice. Excessive ogling is also frowned upon. Just let them do their jobs.

1. Tip poorly.

Leaving two shiny nickels for your first round means you'll be the last to get a second.