You'll be greeted warmly, led to a booth and handed several large menus. The first will be for food, a sturdy collection of familiar Chinese dishes. Standard fare like lo mein and Sichuan vegetables is accentuated by a good number of house specialties, ranging between $10 and $20.
The second tome is specifically for drinks. Beer takes up a page, so do wine and after-dinner cognacs. Also on the list are bourbons, Irish whiskies and a few ryes.
But a quick run-through soon uncovers the main event: single-malt Scotch.
Wing's is home to the city's best selection of this magical stuff - page after page of top-shelf distillations from another world and, often, another age.
Most novice drinkers will be completely lost, but don't worry. This is a good kind of lost, like being stuck in a chocolate factory or a genie's cave of wonders. You're not in a big hurry to find your way out.
The menu is organized by major Scotch-producing regions - Highlands, Lowlands, Speyside, Islay, Orkney and several islands. A good number of pours cost less than $10, and each grouping has selections at various price points. The range starts at $5 for an eight-year Glen Kirk and climbs to $130 for a special reserve from The Glenlivet.
You can certainly enjoy Wing's without whiskey. The decor is pleasant enough, especially in a smaller bar-side dining area, and the food is a cut above most Chinese in Columbus.
There's just no point in a visit without sampling the rich, exuberant warmth of a thousand Scottish casks. It's like saying, "Yeah, Cedar Point's cool - I'm just not really into rides."
Do yourself a favor. Have a seat. Get a Scotch.
You might get a bit lost in Wing's extensive list of single-malt Scotch. Here are some selections under $10.
Type: Caol Ila 12
What it's like: The aroma's a bit astringent at first, but a comforting smokiness soon comes out. The finish is smooth and peaty.
Type: Ledaig 15
Region: Southern Highlands
What it's like: The best Scotch I tried. Its rich golden body smells like an autumn hearth, and the finish is just slightly sweet, something that bourbon drinkers (like me) will appreciate.
Type: Isle of Jura 10
What it's like: The nose is rather intense, though a round, buttery texture makes this one a fantastic sipping Scotch.