Last week, I talked about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico - good times. Believe it or not, that's not the only catastrophe threatening to destroy the earth.

Last week, I talked about the oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico - good times. Believe it or not, that's not the only catastrophe threatening to destroy the earth.

The Middle East and the Korean peninsula - which area will first bring us into a worldwide conflagration? First, let's look at the Korean peninsula, where the Korean War enters its 3,117th week.

A little history - back in the early 1950s, North and South Korea fought a war to decide who would control the Korean peninsula, eventually signing the infamous Neither Pact in 1953.

Then both sides took a 57-year nap. That is, until recently, when an explosion sank a naval vessel in March, killing 46 South Korean sailors near the North Korean border.

Turns out North Korea sank the South Korean battleship. So the Korean peninsula is now teetering on the precipice of war.

Middle East, you gonna take that? Teetering on the brink of war, isn't that your thing? That's your unleavened bread and butter. Three-thousand weeks of war, Korea? Screw that, try 6,000 years!

On Monday, Israeli commandos raided a flotilla of ships in international waters that were attempting to carry 10,000 tons of aid to Palestinians in the Gaza Strip - in violation of an Israeli blockade. At least nine activists were killed in the assault.

Israel said the activists attacked them first with clubs. The activists said they never attacked the soldiers - they thought Israel was welcoming them by lowering commando-shaped pinatas from their helicopters.

As to why Israel had elite navy SEALs repelling onto the deck of what looks like P. Diddy's St. Barts vacation yacht, they say it's because they had to search the boats for materials that could be used to build explosives.

What nefarious accoutrements of terror did they find? Ten-thousand tons of medical aid and school supplies.

I knew it! Hamas has been working on a crutch-a-pult. Incidentally, the crutch-a-pult is the most humane weapon to be hit with. It fires crutches! So even if it hurts you, you have something to help you get away.

The Middle East situation is a complex, ever-shifting dynamic filled with shades of political nuance, which is why it's so helpful for the media to discuss it purely in black-and-white terms. Great hate! Less killing!

I don't think we'll ever get these two sides to come to agreement. Well, except agreeing that this statement by Charles Krauthammer may be the stupidest thing anyone has said about the Middle East, ever.

"What exactly is the humanitarian crisis that the flotilla was addressing? There is none," Krauthammer said. "There's no one starving in Gaza."

You can't even look at Gaza and agree that there's suffering there that needs to be alleviated, no matter who's to blame? Then your heart is so dead, tourists flock to there to float on their backs in it.