It's September, kids, which can only mean one thing - midterm election season!
It’s September, kids, which can only mean one thing — midterm election season!
Let’s discuss the 2010 battle for the Potomac. Two parties enter, one party leaves with a slight legislative majority, allowing that party to obstruct or be obstructed from carrying out any meaningful social change.
The defending champion, Democrats, had a great 2008 season — undefeated in the House, took the Senate and captured the executive. How are they looking this year?
Fox News says they’re going to get clobbered, and even CNN says Democrats are cruisin’ toward a November bruisin’.
Then again, CNN may be confusing Democrats with Kenickie from “Grease.”
Of course, there’s only one man who could turn a possible Democratic extinction event into a mere electoral landslide — President Barack Obama.
On Sept. 6, he gave his version of a rousing morale-booster-between-recessions halftime speech. The big question: Would he go with a quiet, inspirational speech like Coach Taylor from TV’s “Friday Night Lights” or a “tear their f---ing heads off and s--- down their necks” approach like Robert Loggia in “Necessary Roughness”?
Now, I can understand how tearing off their heads would give you a competitive advantage, but s---ing down their necks is just poor sportsmanship.
Instead, Obama went with a plan we’ve heard before — the $50-billion-to-take-our-infrastructure-into-the-21st-century speech.
The infrastructure advancements were supposed to be covered in the original stimulus package. Shouldn’t another $50 billion take our infrastructure into the 22nd century, when the bridges and tunnels will just come and pick us up by our houses?
Alright, so if pork doesn’t work, how about some repartee?
“Every Republican in Congress says no. Even on things we usually agree on, they say no,” Obama said during his speech. “If I say the sky is blue, they’d say no. If I say fish live in the sea, they’d say no.”
To be fair, the Republicans aren’t being obstructionist. They’re just not very good at science.
But the Democrats’ biggest problem isn’t their ideals or their desperate strategies. It’s that no matter what they do, it doesn’t matter.
Case in point: Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer, a Republican whose opening statement during the recently televised debate was so bad Miss Teen South Carolina called to say she wanted her “U.S. Americans and the Iraq and such” performance style back.
Maybe a Mexican drug cartel snuck across the border and kidnapped her tongue.
Even worse are Brewer’s ridiculous claims that illegal immigrants were leaving decapitated bodies in the Arizona desert. When confronted by reporters about her lack of evidence and asked to recant, she merely walked away.
Why do I bring up a Republican’s disastrous debate appearance and comically feckless efforts at ignoring earlier crazy statements that she’d only brought up in the first place as evidence of the problems Democrats are facing?
Because even after all this, she is still crushing her Democratic opponent.