While "The Daily Show" was filming in Washington, D.C., last week, I noticed there were some pretty obvious systemic failings throughout the city that paralleled our nation's troubles.

While "The Daily Show" was filming in Washington, D.C., last week, I noticed there were some pretty obvious systemic failings throughout the city that paralleled our nation's troubles.

The key to understanding any city is its infrastructure. Take a look at D.C.'s subway system, and you'll see a prime example of our nation's capital gone bad. Oh, I'm sorry. It's not called the subway - it's the Metro. Sounds kind of like the gay cousin of the subway.

Anyway, it's a nightmare of overspending in the nation's capital. I mean, who builds a nice subway?!

It's no wonder our government is broke - they spent all their money upholstering something that's supposed to be a moving park bench for homeless people.

Speaking of homeless people - carpeting in a subway station? Where are they supposed to pee?

Perhaps D.C.'s most important role is as a symbol of our national strength, and its monuments attest to that symbolism. So, how do they rate?

Take a look at the Lincoln Memorial, where Martin Luther King gave his historic "I Have a Dream" address looking out over its famous reflecting pool. If King gave that speech today, he'd be looking out over an opaque puddle of goose turds.

Restoring those landmarks would be a great charity to have, huh? In all seriousness, please donate to nationalmall.org.

Well, I wasn't the only one who noticed something was wrong with Washington, D.C., and the system. It's also those who wish to enter the system - or hang onto it for dear life.

"We know that the system is broken," said Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona.

Luckily McCain was there when we originally bought the system, and he kept the receipt.

It's kind of funny hearing about a "broken system" from that old guy who's been in it forever. Or maybe it's because he's been saying it since 1989. McCain has always worked in Washington and always will - he's like the caretaker from "The Shining."

Anyway, all those new people, and the guy who's been in Washington forever, are right. We're going to fix this place! Any ideas?

"What Washington needs now are new voices and new ideas," said Republican Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell.

All those new people, and the guy who's been in Washington forever, are right. We need change.

So what type of change are they talking about this time? Maybe reforming the 60-vote senatorial cloture rule that has stalled so much legislation. Perhaps it's public financing as a measure to remove the insidious influence of big money from electoral politics. Or

"Somebody has to go to Washington and knock the hell out of the place," said Republican congressional candidate Ben Quayle.

Oh! So all those new people, and the guy who's been there forever, are planning a gut renovation. It's like "Extreme Makeover: D.C. Edition." Even that old guy who's been here forever wants to build some kind of fence.

It's going to be so exciting when they yell "Move that bus!"