"The Pirates of Penzance" teaches a few valuable lessons: Don't have a baby on February 29. And if you do, don't hand the kid off to a woman who's hard of hearing and tell her to make sure the little guy becomes an apprentice to a pilot.

"The Pirates of Penzance" teaches a few valuable lessons: Don't have a baby on February 29. And if you do, don't hand the kid off to a woman who's hard of hearing and tell her to make sure the little guy becomes an apprentice to a pilot.

Your child could end up serving as an apprentice to a pirate until his 21st birthday, when he turns 84. And the love of his life might have to wait around for him until then.

The New York Gilbert & Sullivan Players will put their expertise to good use during a weekend-long run of "Pirates," written by the troupe's namesake, and 24 members of the Columbus Symphony will accompany the singers.

Presented by Opera Columbus, the operetta features dancing pirates, a clan of attractive sisters and an old dude who essentially raps the words to the well-known "I Am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General."