Last week we celebrated America's 235th birthday, and things couldn't be much worse for our country.

Last week we celebrated America's 235th birthday, and things couldn't be much worse for our country.

The president says that if we don't raise the debt ceiling we risk defaulting, and the number of jobs created last month was just 18,000, 100,000 fewer than expected.

Happy birthday, America! Perhaps nothing sums up the last week like a Tweet from Ashton Kutcher talking about Casey Anthony.

"O.J. Simpson finds this verdict outrageous," tweeted Kutcher.

So we're broke, unemployed, endlessly deployed and there's Casey Anthony. If there's one way America can feel better about itself, it's by beating up on England like we did 235 years ago to earn our independence.

We may have got real trouble here, but England also knows a little something about being a dying empire with rotting institutions.

Just look at the British tabloid News of the World. It's 168 years old and at its peak it sold 8 million copies a week.

As of Sunday, its owner Rupert Murdoch - himself 166 years old - shut down the News of the World in disgrace.

Do you know how hard it is to disgrace a British tabloid? These are the same people who hired private investigators to learn whether Freddie Mercury had H.I.V.

It's no surprise that tabloid reporters are scumbags, but some could point to our "real" press's recent actions and say that it's worse.

The Anthony family is paying for her defense in part with money from licensing home videos and photos to ABC News and other media outlets.

At least she turned down ABC's offer to be the next Bachelorette. Seems bad, but listen to what News of the World did.

The paper hacked voicemails of the families of British soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan and actually tried to hack into the phones of 9/11 victims.

The real cherry on this crapola sundae was the case of poor Milly Dowler, a missing 13-year-old girl whose story had Britain riveted.

"During the time she was missing, the News of the World was using private investigators to listen to her voicemail. The voicemail box on Milly's phone filled up. The News of the World was hungry for more information for more stories, so they intervened and deleted the messages," said Nick Davies, a reporter for the Guardian.

Oh, it gets worse. Deleting the messages gave her family and police hope that she was alive. She was later found dead.

Why didn't Scotland Yard stop them, you ask? Because the News of the World was routinely paying some police officers.

Maybe Prime Minister David Cameron could have done something to stop this atrocity. Funny story about Cameron - Andy Coulson, the editor who presided at the paper during the height of some of its most egregious scandals, left the paper to become Cameron's communications director. He resigned in January.

So the Brits are garbage and terrible people. Looks like America comes out on top again, even if it's only because Britain sucks worse than we do.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!