I have been dating someone for two months. At times he appears interested in me, calling, coming over being all flirty and sweet. Then he flips a switch and is someone else, going off the radar for days, not returning calls or texts and acting strange. I can't tell if he is truly interested in me and often wonder if this is going anywhere. I wish I could read his mind and know what our relationship status was. Why do guys play games? - Puzzled
I have been dating someone for two months. At times he appears interested in me, calling, coming over being all flirty and sweet. Then he flips a switch and is someone else, going off the radar for days, not returning calls or texts and acting strange. I canít tell if he is truly interested in me and often wonder if this is going anywhere. I wish I could read his mind and know what our relationship status was. Why do guys play games? ó Puzzled
I hate games. Games are nothing more than drama. Theyíre a pointless rite of passage when first getting to know someone. We all play them when dating, and not just the guys. Women can be surprisingly brutal.
Who hasnít felt they were playing offense or defense in the epic game of dating? I stand on the sidelines every day watching my friends and clients play. While some play the game well, being upfront and honest with their intentions, others prefer to be calculated and aloof. Sadly, these are the folks who take the fun out of dating by complicating things and often wasting our time. For example, have you ever exchanged phone numbers with a guy and just knew he wasnít really going to call?
The trick to not wasting your time playing these games is to interpret his dating signals. In your case, he isnít making this easy on you. He has you on your toes, keeping you guessing. I believe the answer to your quandary is in the gaps ó what he isnít telling you. Your guy is a mystery; you clearly donít have his entire story. It appears he is spoon-feeding you bits and pieces, only the information he wants you to have.
I could easily speculate why he is not completely forthcoming: He could be a commitment-phobe, or maybe heís two-timing you. He might view you as a friend with benefits, or maybe he just has no game. Bottom line: Itís time to make a game-changing move. Ask him what he wants from you and this so-called relationship. You will never know unless you ask!
Whether or not your guy gives you the answers youíre looking for, itís inevitable at some point in the future that you will cross paths with another ridiculous game-player. Next time, donít be afraid to scare him off by being straightforward. I assure you the nice guys will appreciate knowing where you stand and whether youíre interested. No one likes a time-waster.
To answer your question: In my opinion, your relationship status is ďsingle.Ē If he was really interested and wanted you to be his girlfriend, you would be. Do you really have time to play his games? Next!
Nicci Sprouse runs a dating service and is developing a television show for Jane.TV. Follow her on Twitter at @AskNicci. And send your questions about love and relationships to ">firstname.lastname@example.org.