I recently broke up with my boyfriend and can't stop thinking about him. I broke it off for good reasons, but now I am second-guessing my decision because I can't quit obsessing over him. I am even finding myself stalking him on Facebook. I really want to move on and cut ties. How do I let go once and for all? -Ex-obsessed
I recently broke up with my boyfriend and canít stop thinking about him. I broke it off for good reasons, but now I am second-guessing my decision because I canít quit obsessing over him. I am even finding myself stalking him on Facebook. I really want to move on and cut ties. How do I let go once and for all? óEx-obsessed
Thanks to technology, it is impossible to completely part ways with an ex. Most of us can relate to break-ups, needing closure and the subsequent occasional stalking, right? Logically speaking, you know that stalking an ex will not help your cause. It will feed your obsession during a moment of weakness, but it wonít help you let go and cut ties for good.
Be pro-active ó eliminate the temptation at your fingertips. You need closure, not full-on access to what youíre missing. As comforting as it may be having access to your ex, Facebook and other social media sites are constant reminders you donít need. Youíre instigating yourself!
It may be awkward to unfriend or block your ex online, but it needs to be done. Do you really want to find out in the news feed about his new girlfriend?
As you noted, you ďbroke it off for good reasons.Ē Obviously, there was a reason things didnít work. By choosing to stay in contact with your ex, you have one foot in and one foot out. You can establish a friendship later if thatís something you want, but right now you need to focus on finding closure.
Keep in mind, often we idealize our exes and only remember the good times, putting them on a pedestal that maybe they donít deserve to be on. Itís easy to do this when youíre grieving, and even easier when you have access to him on social media sites.
I am a big advocate of distracting yourself ó find a new love interest (rebound)! Putting yourself back in the game and dating other guys will help you move on. Itís good to get your mind off him, but donít put yourself in a position to be tempted to miss him or the so-called relationship.
Ultimately, it isnít fair to the next person you start dating if you still have ďold businessĒ to wrap up. In order to be open and ready for the new, healthy relationship around the corner, you have to completely close the doors to your past. Be brave and let go!