I work at a large company where office romances are frowned upon. There is a girl in my department whom I can't help feeling chemistry with, and I think she feels the same. Should I cross the line and ask her out or play it safe and continue flirting? -Dave
I work at a large company where office romances are frowned upon. There is a girl in my department whom I canít help feeling chemistry with, and I think she feels the same. Should I cross the line and ask her out or play it safe and continue flirting? óDave
Oh, the thrills of making out in the elevator, the ďlunchĒ tryst, resisting the urge to grope in the hall, or ó even better ó office happy hour sexual tension. These are all perks of the classic office romance. Many have attempted; few have conquered.
Crossing the line could cost you ó literally. Bear in mind that what feels exciting and risque now could have serious consequences in the near future. Not only do you risk becoming office gossip, but, even worse, you risk the aftermath if your boss (assuming it isnít your boss!) finds out. Deciding if the temptation is worth the gamble is your first step.
Consider the risk and reward of the situation. Sure, you could lose your job if your boss finds out, and you probably know that if you break up, it would be awkward to pass each other every day in the hall (this could be worse than losing your job). But letís say things do work out. Can you handle the pressure of being together 24/7? Working all day and then being together at night puts a lot of pressure on any relationship.
Speaking of pressure, Iím sure youíre feeling it now, considering all of the heavy decisions I am throwing at you. But remember, the reward may outweigh the risk. This girl could be your future wife! I know many people who have fallen in love and married their office romance.
The trick to making an office romance work is transitioning it to the real world and your life outside of work. Once the excitement is gone, you need to make sure there is more ó a true foundation to build from. At the moment it probably feels like you have everything in common and you could talk for hours, but make sure your common ground doesnít consist only of trash talking your boss or rehashing what happened at the office that day. Find other things in common and focus on those. Try to separate your professional and personal lives.
If it were me, I would absolutely cross the line and take the risk. If thatís what you decide, I would advise you to proceed with caution, communicate your expectations and keep things on the down low.
Nicci Sprouse runs a dating service and is developing a television show for Jane.TV. Follow her on Twitter at @AskNicci. And send your questions about love and relationships to ">firstname.lastname@example.org.