A few months ago we told you about New York Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna, aka Tony Bologna. He gained a measure of infamy for his work in testing the tear ducts and gag reflexes of seated sleeveless college girls. Turns out his hypothesis is correct; weapons-grade pepper spray is an irritant.

A few months ago we told you about New York Deputy Inspector Anthony Bologna, aka Tony Bologna. He gained a measure of infamy for his work in testing the tear ducts and gag reflexes of seated sleeveless college girls. Turns out his hypothesis is correct; weapons-grade pepper spray is an irritant.

Bologna received a fair share of condemnation for his random spraying of Occupy Wall Streeters, and even an homage — NBC’s new hit drama “Tony Bologna: The Vigilogna” starring Christopher Meloni. The theme music is done by Tony Toni Tone. It’s sponsored by Rice-A-Roni. The lead-in program is “My Little Pony.” It’s a weird fit demographically, but they work together.

My point is that back in September, he seemed a symbol of disproportionate and excessive force. As it turns out, Tony Bologna is soft on protestors.

“Campus police at UC Davis fired pepper spray directly into the faces of passive Occupy protestors who refused to move,” ABC News reported.

You know there are better ways to get college kids to move — “Hey everybody, Green Day is in the quad,” “Free tacos” or “The infirmary has a herpes vaccine.” Now you might be wondering, who were those thugs that required a “Jersey Shore”-level dousing of orange spray?

They were students engaged in a protest at University of California, Davis — go Fightin’ Pacifists! — protesting recent tuition hikes and supporting the Occupy movement. As for what made this situation pepper spray worthy, I’ll let the UC Davis chief of police explain.

“It was for the safety of the officers and the arrestees, so we could leave,” said Annette Spicuzza.

The safety of the arrestees?! Apparently they were spraying them with Neosporin. Now there are situations were police are in danger in a crowd, but in those situations the police don’t usually have time to lay down primer and two coats of pepper spray. I’ve seen people tag Tupac murals in less time.

As extreme as those police officers’ actions were, it’s best to keep things in perspective. All this stuff happened before Thanksgiving, and these students were able to celebrate safe at home with their families and maybe even do a little safe holiday shopping on Black Friday.

“One woman was so intent on getting her hands on a new Xbox 360 at a discounted price she pepper sprayed her fellow shoppers,” reported Fox News last Friday.

The police referred to her behavior as “competitive shopping.” What a weird “Sex and the City” way of rebranding assault. I’m not a murderer; I’m a ghost creator.

If it was competitive shopping I guess she won, because while all the mayhem she caused was happening, she was able to go through the checkout and purchase that Xbox.

I think this may set a bad precedent for shopper behavior. Tony Bologna used pepper spray because he thought it would bring order, but now, in essence, order has been pepper sprayed.

Blowback is a bitch, people. We have suddenly become people who use pepper spray to alleviate minor inconveniences. Pepper spray has become America’s new car horn.