The Daily Show: Commission: Impossible

By The Daily Show
From the January 12, 2012 edition

In recent months there have been expansions of executive power that many have found troubling but perhaps lacked the hyperbolic vocabulary to properly condemn. Your prayers have been answered.

“Who cares what the law says? Who cares what the rules are? I’m the president,” said presidential hopeful Rick Santorum of Barack Obama’s attitude.

Finally, elected officials and our vaunted punditocracy are standing up to, I’m assuming, the recent codifying of indefinite detention of Americans, or perhaps the unrestricted and secret use of drones that rain death from the sky, or maybe President Obama’s most recent outrage, the institution of mandatory sharia school lunch.

Even the most American of sandwiches — the PB & J — must wear the hijab. So which one of these all true things are they objecting to? The fact that the president named Richard Cordray as the head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

In 2010, in the throes of one of the worst economic recessions in US history, Congress came along and passed a law that created a badly needed consumer protection bureau — a watchdog against the kind of predatory financial practices that so destroyed the economic foundation of this great country.

So Congress created a bureau to protect consumers’ financial interests in 2010 and now the president is, not two years later, hiring someone to run it. What kind of monster.com is he?!

You may ask how filling a position that Congress created is an arrogant, lawless and banana republic abuse of power. That’s use of power; what did the president do that was so wrong?

“The president acted under his authority to make recess appointments when Congress is not in session,” ABC News reported.

My God, that’s how Hitler took Poland. President Bush did plenty of recess appointments. It’s how John Bolton became UN ambassador and how Chuck Norris became Walker, Texas Sixth Circuit Court judge. What’s the difference between that and what Obama just did?

“Republicans say that Congress is in session and the president had no right to make this so-called recess appointment,” said Cecilia Vega of ABC News.

That’s funny; I watch C-Span for a living and I haven’t seen them in session. Apparently I missed the congressional session on Jan. 3 that was 30 seconds long and counts as not being in recess.

So the president bids the archaic parliamentary procedure loophole the recess appointment and the Senate raises him a technical bylaw adherence. That’s a well-played game of a-holes’ poker.

This Congress makes me so angry. These do-nothing a-holes — wait, I take that back. They are a-holes, but it must take an immense amount of work to perform this level of a-holery.

These public servants must work tirelessly, night and day, to ensure that nothing gets done. It must be quite a sight to see exactly how the sausage doesn’t get made.

If they turn their backs for one second, a program that actually educates young people could emerge or a bridge could get built to somewhere.