Ask Nicci: Don’t even think about hooking up with the boss

By
From the January 19, 2012 edition

My boss hits on me non-stop. He is married, I am single, and yes, I would do it. Should I?Heather

Did you actually think there was a possibility I would say yes and give my so-called authorization to you? Um, no. In fact, I think you are nuts for even considering the possibility.

The way I see it is you have two problems: First, your boss is married and should not be hitting on you, and second, you should not even remotely consider going through with it.

Personally, I cannot think of any upside other than the possibility of very short-term leverage with your career advancement. However, this is ultimately career suicide, and would the short-term gain be worth it? Consider the fact that everyone at work will find out (they always do). You will be shunned, and most likely he won’t be. Not to mention the fact that he is married! The ramifications from that alone are infinite.

Bottom line: There is no upside to having an affair with your boss. I suggest you do some soul searching and stick to singles. While you’re at it, find a new job, too.

A girl recently gave me her phone number at a professional networking event. I liked her, and we were flirting. The problem is that I don’t know whether she gave me her number to contact her for professional reasons or personal. What should I do?Troy

Hopefully you aren’t in sales, because you clearly didn’t qualify your lead! Regardless, she gave you her phone number, so she obviously wants you to call her. The trick is not to appear unprofessional since this was a work-related introduction.

Because you met at a networking event, I would suggest calling her and inviting her to meet for coffee during work hours. Networking over coffee is not uncommon and is a great way to have a second chance to better qualify her.

If you are at the coffee meeting and still confused, you probably have bigger problems: Your “game” may need some work, and you probably need to kick your confidence up a notch. If you like her, take the risk and put yourself out there! Make it known you’re interested.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Follow her on Twitter at @AskNicci. And send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com.