My girlfriend and I have been together for about five months. She just admitted that she's "uncertain" there's a romantic connection between us, but she says she wants to stay together because there are other things that draw her to me. What does that mean? -Kirk
My girlfriend and I have been together for about five months. She just admitted that she’s “uncertain” there’s a romantic connection between us, but she says she wants to stay together because there are other things that draw her to me. What does that mean? —Kirk
After interviewing hundreds of singles, I can confidently say it’s evident you haven’t made the cut on this woman’s superficial dating checklist. She boldly claims she’s “just not that into you” but still wants to keep you around. That’s a red flag.
Continuing to play this out and settling for less is a deal breaker. A true, long-term connection comprises many things: mutual interests, trust, honesty, communication and, most importantly, chemistry. Minimizing the power of chemistry and hoping it surfaces later or deeming it totally unnecessary is delusional on your part. And hers, too.
Eventually the lack of fulfillment will fester into other areas of the relationship, and you’ll ultimately be “just friends,” or, worse, roommates.
Are you content with being her Plan B? We all deserve to be someone’s Plan A.
Never make someone your priority while allowing him/her to make you an option.
I’m a single dad, and I’m starting to date. Any pointers? —Trevor
Dating when you’re a single parent has an added fear factor beyond the typical risks we take when screening potential partners. Similar to online dating, the process can be frustrating. You have to be extra cautious.
Start by making a must-have list (focus on key qualities, not superficial ones). For instance, many of my single parent clients prefer to date other single parents. They find an understanding not only for things like time constraints, but also the daily trials and tribulations of single parenthood. Don’t rule out women who haven’t had kids. But make sure they are truly open to the baggage that accompanies you.
Meeting your match when you’re a single parent doesn’t mean you have to sacrifice everything. Meeting someone who is a fit for both you and your children is possible!
· Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to email@example.com.">firstname.lastname@example.org. Or get in touch through her website, ">asknicci.com.