Final Four: Ohio State vs. Kansas

  • Dispatch file photo
By Columbus Alive
From the March 29, 2012 edition

It’s going to be a great showdown in New Orleans this Saturday when Ohio State takes on Kansas in the Final Four. Here’s a breakdown of the two schools that you won’t get from Dick Vitale.

Mascot

Ohio State: Brutus Buckeye

Kansas: Big Jay Jayhawk

Edge: Ohio State. The Jayhawk isn’t even a real bird!

Chant

Ohio State: “O-H-I-O”

Kansas: “Rock chalk, Jayhawk”

Edge: Kansas. We shouldn’t be that proud of being able to spell our four-letter state name.

Music Connection

Ohio State: The Ohio Players

Kansas: Kansas

Edge: Ohio State. Kansas’ “Dust in the Wind” might be the most annoying song ever.

Conference

Ohio State: Big Ten

Kansas: Big 12

Edge: Ohio State. Go figure: The Big Ten has 12 teams and the Big 12 has 10 teams (for now). But the Big Ten is the oldest Division I conference.

Final Four appearances

Ohio State; 11

Kansas: 14

Edge: Kansas

Greatest player of all time

Ohio State: John “Hondo” Havlicek

Kansas: Wilt “The Stilt” Chamberlain

Edge: Kansas. Chamberlain scored 100 points in a single game and claims to have slept with 20,000 women. Sadly this isn’t even close, despite Havlicek’s far superior nickname.

“Miami Vice” Connection

Ohio State: Philip Michael Thomas, aka Detective Ricardo Tubbs, was born in Columbus.

Kansas: Don Johnson, aka Detective James Crockett, graduated from high school in Wichita.

Edge: Ohio State. Thomas was actually born in Ohio; Johnson was born in Kansas’ rival Missouri. Besides, Crockett always seemed like kind of a douche.

Well, there you have it — Ohio State edges Kansas 4-3. Hopefully the Buckeye victory on Saturday won’t be so close.