Here’s what you need to know about Apps: You will love it at 1 a.m. on a Saturday. And if you have it delivered to a Campus-area bar after a night of drinking, you will inspire envy among all of the other inebriated patrons.
But you should never, ever order Apps during normal eating hours or before you’ve consumed at least three beers.
Yes, this is drunk food, which you may have been able to guess based on the fact that Apps is located just east of Campus, is open till 3 a.m. and offers free delivery. And is stupid cheap.
If you didn’t guess based on any of that, though, you’d certainly know after glancing at the menu, which is filled with gutter-minded puns designed to amuse its target demographic. Example: There are portion sizes named the Doublefister and the 3rd Arm.
Oh, and they specialize in boneless chicken “wings” called Wangz. These deep-fried nuggets are more similar to chicken poppers than wings, and they’re served with your choice of about a dozen sauces.
I preferred the deep-fried snacks found on the Apps section of the menu. Combine three of them for a $6 sampler platter.
The menu highlights:
Walfie’s Fries. Translation: waffle fries. Apps serves all kinds of takes on fried potatoes (curly fries, home fries, potato wedges, chips), but the best are the thick-cut, seasoned waffle ones.
Skin’s Friends. Translation: potato skins. OK, these are technically not potato skins, but they’re still pretty good. Imagine regular potato skins stuffed with bacon and cheese, then sliced lengthwise into half-inch slices and thrown into a deep fryer. They’re crunchy and good.
Vegy’s Heads. Translation: steamed veggies. The menu description for these reads “Eat these if you want to live.” That happens to be my favorite description, because it’s not trying to be funny, it’s telling the truth.
Now, it’s true that these steamed broccoli heads and carrots come doused in butter and sprinkled liberally with garlic, but they’re by far the healthiest thing on the menu and — surprise! — the tastiest. Even at 1 a.m.