Ask Nicci: Girlfriend’s filthy house is a turn-off

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From the April 12, 2012 edition

I love my girlfriend, but she has some seriously nasty habits. Her bathtub is covered in soap scum and hair, she lets the kitchen sink fill up with dirty dishes and her apartment smells really bad. This isn’t the kind of home I want to share with her someday. How can I make her understand this is becoming a deal breaker? —Jon

Dig deep for one last chance — your girlfriend needs your help!

Her filthy habits could be just the tip of the iceberg. The situation could be as straightforward as her needing to learn better organization and time management or as severe as a possible psychological problem. Regardless of the analysis, clearly and calmly tell her this isn’t the type of home you wish to live in and if she wants this relationship to progress, changes need to happen. Let her know you are here to help her, but she must be willing to help herself first.

Support her by facilitating a hardcore weekend of spring cleaning. Consider a stronger tactic of hiring an organization expert to help with time management and cleaning tips, or suggest therapy if necessary.

In the end she needs to own her problem and take action, or you could find yourself representing Columbus on a future episode of “Hoarders.”

It’s been more than a year since my boyfriend broke up with me and I had to move out. He still emails and texts me sometimes, even though I never respond. I’ve moved on. Why can’t he get it through his thick head that I don’t want to talk to him? —Beth

Ask Nicci Dating Tip No. 76: If she doesn’t respond to your texts or emails, she probably isn’t interested! Take the hint and cease communication.

My guess is he’s trying to manipulate himself back into your world. Either he wants you back, needs a booty call or is bitter you actually moved out and can’t get past it. Regardless, he is not behaving like a mature, rational man — more like an emotionally unstable stalker.

My instinct says he needs closure, which really isn’t your problem considering he broke up with you. My advice here is simple: If you truly are over him, then block his phone number and email address. While you’re at it, block him on all social media platforms. Once he realizes his pathetic attempts to woo you back aren’t working, he will quickly move on to the next woman and let you go.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com. Or get in touch through her website, asknicci.com.