Crew: Glass half empty? Not necessarily

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From the April 12, 2012 edition

Thierry Henry’s New York Red Bulls charged into Crew Stadium last Saturday and gored Columbus by a 4-1 score. After such a demoralizing loss, fans have two choices: Descend into depths of despair rarely seen outside the greater Cleveland area, or keep your head up and hope your boys bounce back. You can make a pretty good case for either option.

Top 5 reasons to feel negative

1. The Crew looked out of its league. It was like watching a pro team play a college team.

2. The Red Bulls aren’t the only team that good in MLS. See: Sporting KC, Real Salt Lake, San Jose Earthquakes.

3. Emilio Renteria squandered at least three gift-wrapped scoring chances. When “The Deer” is playing like Bambi, it’s time to give some other young bucks a shot.

4. The Crew’s idea of defense is to run a lazy offside trap and cross their fingers. Henry and Kenny Cooper are probably still cackling about it, unless they started to feel too sadistic.

5. New York coach Hans Backe kept using the word “massive” to describe the Red Bulls’ play. What a douche.

Top 5 reasons to feel positive

1. Milovan Mirosevic pickpocketed Henry with a precision slide tackle. It was positively Maisonneuve-esque and further proof that this guy is the real deal.

2. Dilly Duka and Ethan Finlay added spark off the bench. Perhaps the children are our future, after all (RIP, Whitney).

3. Chad Marshall scored a goal. With his head. So maybe we’re seeing a return to the aerial antics of the Guillermo Barros Schelotto era.

4. It was one game, people. And only the fourth game of the season at that.

5. If there’s any team to rebound against, it’s the winless Philadelphia Union. And that happens to be whom the Crew faces Saturday.