Ever since Creed went riding into the sunset, hair and skin glistening from various oils, Nickelback has ascended as the go-to punching bag for rock fans who prefer their music to be “intelligent,” “forward-thinking” and “good.” We fully intend to uphold that tradition.
With the Canadian butt-rock superstars set to headline the Schottenstein Center this Sunday, Alive presents the case for three superior Sunday showcases of musical muscle: Skeletonwitch, Howler and Greg Ashley.
Nickelback
In brief: The biggest (though not necessarily stinkiest) turd in the toilet bowl that is modern rock radio
Openers: Bush, Seether and My Darkest Days
Is Chad Kroeger the lead singer? A resounding yes
Selling point: You read that right — Gavin Rossdale is back! For those of us who purchased “Sixteen Stone” with our allowance, the chance to lift a lighter during “Glycerine” might be the only redeeming aspect of this concert.
If you must:
Schottenstein Center
6 p.m. Sunday, April 15
555 Borror Dr., Campus
Skeletonwitch
In brief: Ohio’s heavy metal heroes bring their blood-curdling, bone-crushing, brain-melting live show up from Athens.
Openers: Dismemberment, Kingsblood and Arise the Titan
Is Chad Kroeger the lead singer? Negative.
Selling point: You know exactly what you’re getting, and it’s good: animalistic howls, harmonized shredding and kick pedals blasting at heart-attack speed.
Worship the witch:
Skully’s Music Diner
5 p.m. Sunday, April 15
1151 N. High St., Short North
Howler
In brief: Prodigious Minneapolis teen Jordan Gatesmith goes mining in a mountain of Strokes and Ramones records and comes up with gold.
Openers: None publicized
Is Chad Kroeger the lead singer? Nuh uh.
Selling point: Seeing this band play a Rumba-sized club at this moment in time seems like the kind of decision you’ll look back on proudly a few years from now.
America give up:
Rumba Cafe
7 p.m. Sunday, April 15
2507 Summit St., Campus
Greg Ashley
In brief: Bay Area psych royalty for his stint as frontman of Gris Gris, Ashley now dabbles in everything from old-school country (2011’s “One Thin Heroine” 7-inch) to avant-garde composition (2010’s “Requiem Mass and Other Experiments”).
Openers: Cheater Slicks, Pink Reason
Is Chad Kroeger the lead singer? Nerp!
Selling point: There’s probably no bigger wild card on stage in Columbus this Sunday.
Do it for the Bay, OK:
Carabar
9 p.m. Sunday, April 15
115 Parsons Ave., Olde Towne East