Ask Nicci: Time to man up

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From the May 10, 2012 edition

I met this girl last Saturday night while out with friends. She was attractive, fun, and we had a great time and we kissed at the end of the night. I waited a couple days and called her. Ever since then she has been texting me, which is a huge turnoff. Why do girls get so clingy? --Matt

Time out, Matt. Fact is, a kiss and phone numbers were exchanged. My instinct says this girl is not the Stage 1 Clinger you portray -- she's confused by your cues! I think you need some female perspective.

Here's what I know: This girl is sitting at home trying to interpret your mixed messages. She doesn't want to appear pushy, but since she hasn't heard from you again, her texts are a way of forcing a response, good or bad. Sometimes you just need to know where you stand.

Not every girl should be classified as "clingy" for being assertive. In most cases, she simply wants to know what's going on. My advice for you: Man up -- if you're not interested, tell her.

My roommate, who is also my best friend, recently started dating my brother, who is a total player. I feel like I should warn her, but I have a feeling she will be mad. Help! --Kelly

Regardless whether your brother's status as a player is fact or fiction, the only warning needed here is for him. Make sure your brother understands the boundaries he is crossing and potential for drama he is creating between you and your friend.

Tell him if he is looking for another flirtationship or to fulfill some fantasy, he should look elsewhere. If his intentions are good, make sure he understands the ramifications. There are others involved -- namely, you!

Once you've shared your opinion, let it go. No reason to be the nagging sister. Let him make his own decisions with your warning in mind. Hopefully he will do right by you and respect your position.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com. Or get in touch through her website, asknicci.com.