Ask Nicci: Right place, right time, but no phone number

By Nicci Sprouse
From the May 24, 2012 edition

I recently met a woman in passing. We were definitely flirting (she even touched my arm twice). We introduced ourselves with first names only. After chatting for a bit we went our separate ways. I am kicking myself for not asking for her number, but I was running late. I have been thinking about this encounter non-stop and even went as far as to find out where she worked and got her company phone number.

Do I call her, or is that borderline stalking? I don’t know if I will ever run into her again, and I’d like to see if there was an actual connection. What are your thoughts? —Greg

This is a tough one. Some women would be flattered that you went to such lengths to find them, but others would call you a creeper. Personally, I’m a believer in true love, fate and things happening for a reason (a hopeless romantic, I know).

If you don’t do something, you’ll always wonder. So go for it and contact her. What do you have to lose, right? Explain that you were running late that day and you’ve kicked yourself ever since for not asking for her number. Be confident, and ask her to meet you for coffee (take baby steps).

If she’s a true romantic and not weirded out by you, she should accept. If she doesn’t, then hopefully you’ve learned a lesson and won’t let the next woman who flirts with you escape without getting her number first. Good luck!

I recently started seeing a girl who I think is pushy. I prefer to take things slowly, but she is more aggressive. I’m not comfortable getting texts nonstop or feeling like I need to see her every day. I’m considering breaking things off. I can’t help how I feel, right? —Scott

This girl is texting you and trying to see you because she likes you! This is what people do when they are interested in getting to know someone better — it’s called dating.

If you’re serious about finding someone special, then you need to be open to all kinds of people. Keep in mind that “personality” is just a portion of what makes a great couple. There are other components that you might be overlooking, such as chemistry, attraction or mutual interests.

Give the girl a chance. Let her know that she is different from any other woman you have ever dated and you’re learning what she needs. By making this clear, she will learn about you, too. Dating doesn’t have to be complicated; step outside your comfort zone, sit back and enjoy the exploration.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com. Or get in touch through her website, asknicci.com.