Ask Nicci: Tell your friend he’s out of his league

By Nicci Sprouse
From the June 7, 2012 edition

My best guy friend thinks he is way more attractive than he really is. He constantly tries connecting with women that are completely out of his league with looks, and he is dumbfounded why they aren’t taking him seriously. He is embarrassing himself. Should I tell him or let him continue wasting his time? —Anonymous

I’m sure I’ll get some haters about this, but let me be honest: When you try to date out of your league, you are just asking for problems. Witnessing an overcompensating man attempting to woo an overly attractive/underage woman really makes me roll my eyes.

Singles like your friend make the top of my red-flag list when I am interviewing. Their self-perception is completely distorted, and they live in a fantasy world. This ultimately makes building a relationship in reality difficult for them and usually leads them into a world filled with overcompensating to keep up with the looks of their partners.

I suggest being brutally honest. What he really needs to know is that there is way more to a girl than a hot body or perfect face.

I am a big fan of dating who you are attracted to, but you must apply some common sense and reality. So guys, unless you are delusional and filthy rich or otherwise well-endowed, you will be happiest in the long run with someone of a similar caliber in the looks department.

I recently graduated from college and will be a bridesmaid in seven weddings over the next year — five this summer alone! Everybody is getting married, and I am not dating anyone seriously. Why does it feel like everyone is starting their lives while I am left out? —Kate

It is graduation season, and I am sure you aren’t the only one feeling this way! In fact, if I were you I would be less concerned about your relationship status and more concerned about the costs you’re about to incur — seven bachelorette parties, seven bridal shower gifts, seven bridesmaids dresses plus matching shoes, hair, makeup and so on. Hopefully none of your girlfriends are doing destination weddings!

Slow down and catch your breath, my friend. Look at the positive: You just graduated from college, and opportunity is all around you! Because you’re single, there is nothing to tie you down or hold you back. I suggest enjoying this time, versus feeling sorry for yourself or frantically searching for a husband. Focus on your career and finding yourself, not Mr. Right. Trust me, there is no rush. Everything will fall into place as it should.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com. Or get in touch through her website, asknicci.com.