Ask Nicci: Say yes to a summer fling

By
From the July 5, 2012 edition

I am renting a houseboat with 12 of my friends at Lake Cumberland for the Fourth of July weekend. One of the girls going flirts with me a lot, and I get the feeling we will be coupled up on the trip. I am attracted to her but not interested in anything serious. If we hook up on the trip, do I need to tell her that’s all it is or just go with the flow? —Dan

Don’t overanalyze or create a contract of expectations! This sounds like a fun summer trip with friends — it’s not like you invited her to be your date to a destination wedding where you’ll share a hotel room for three days.

There should be no expectations but fun in the sun. As long as neither of you are in serious relationships with anyone, there’s nothing wrong with a summer fling. Sure, the waters could be muddied if this turns into more than harmless flirting or hooking up and she develops feelings on the trip. But that’s out of your control. Go there with the intention of having fun and keeping things light — just be cautious of spending too much time together. After all, this is a fun trip with friends, not an opportunity to create unnecessary drama with a girl. Be safe, be honest, keep things simple, have fun — no explanation needed.

I went on one date with a guy. He seemed nice enough on the date until he started texting me incessantly afterward. He compliments me and then says I’m too good for him. He is friends with some of my friends so I know he isn’t a complete lunatic. He’s just annoying the hell out of me. I have been ignoring his texts, but now he is suggesting I call him to explain why I am ignoring him. This is ridiculous. How do I get rid of this guy? —Gina

As weird and over-the-top as this guy may appear, it is absolutely something we can all learn from in this wild world of dating. (On a lighter note, you can officially add “crazy stalker-guy” to your dating horror stories.)

This guy has some major insecurity — and that really isn’t your problem. Even worse, he is completely overzealous. It’s safe to assume he had these issues well before you and will probably have them long after you. After going on one date, you don’t need to know his last name or where he lives yet, let alone feel the responsibility to let him down easy. Bottom line: You don’t need to justify your actions.

But, because ignoring him isn’t working, I suggest texting him back and kindly asking that he stop contacting you. If he gets in touch again, trust your instincts and proceed with caution.

∙ Nicci Sprouse is the owner of a local dating service. Send your questions about love and relationships to infoasknicci@gmail.com. Or get in touch through her website, asknicci.com.