Conceptually, voting for a third party is not insane. According to the Federal Election Commission, the Presidential Election Campaign Fund gave Democrats and Republicans $18 million each for 2012 conventions and $91 million for campaigning. Third parties with at least 5 percent of the vote are eligible for those funds next election, which, in theory, would put them on a more even standing with the two major parties.
The trouble is finding a candidate who isn’t completely insane.
Vote for him if: You don’t think the government controlling banks, business and healthcare is even slightly Orwellian.
Susan E. Daniels
Vote for her if: You believe Obama’s Social Security Number is invalid.
Vote for him if: You believe the Constitution envisions America as a Christian theocracy.
Vote for him if: You aren’t living free enough.
Vote for her if: You think environmental policy should influence all policy.
Vote for him if: You want to keep nukes from terrorists and believe a real estate agent can do that.
Party: Twelve Vision Party
Vote for her if: You want a candidate whose platform includes “slow down aging permanently” and “become a genius of society.”
Vote for him if: You find his “sites.google.com” campaign website refreshingly DIY.
Vote for him if: You are conservative, confused and think you’re voting for Pat Robertson.
Randall A. Terry
Vote for him if: You enjoy his foreign oil song, “Sweet Muslim Crude.”
Vote for him if: OK, there is no reason to vote for him.
On the ballot, but not on Ohio’s:
Party: Peace and Freedom
Vote for her if: You miss seeing her whup ass in primetime, or you appreciate that “legalization of marijuana” is the top of her platform.
Party: Party for Socialism and Liberation (PSL)
Vote for her if: You like Marxism and candidates too young to serve (she’s 28).
Vote for him if: You’ve been aggressively nagging friends to read “Atlas Shrugged” since sophomore year.