’Tis the season for revealing Halloween costumes. It turns out pretty much every variation on the sexy costume already exists — Sexy Big Bird is a hot seller this year. Well, we came up with worst ideas we could. If you pull any of these off, send us a picture.
10. Sexy Semicolon
“Hey, girl. What do you say you and I go back to my place and connect some interdependent statements?”
9. Sexy Alexander Graham Bell
Unbutton an extra button on your frock coat and get to rotary sexting.
8. Sexy Bowl of Pudding
When people see the way you jiggle, they are gonna wanna spoon.
7. Sexy Felix Baumgartner
Wearing nothing but a sexy parachute, release a balloon that will carry you miles above the party before your thrilling return to earth.
6. Sexy Fabrege Egg
Egg-shaped is the new hourglass. And who can resist all that bling?
5. Sexy Passport
Make jokes about how you “get around” and point to the sexy places you’ve gotten stamped, like Wapakoneta, Ohio, and Altenkirchen, Germany.
4. Sexy Teapot
Is that a banana in your spout, or do you just keep getting all steamed up?
3. Sexy Invisible Man and Woman
Looking for a great couple’s costume idea? This one is perfect for the Halloween party you don’t really want to attend.
2. Sexy Sasquatch
Mmmm … it’s such a turn-on when layers of thick fur poke through lacy knee-high panty hose.
1. Sexy Naked Person
Eh, f--- it. Let’s just skip the subtext altogether.