The List: Top 10 meats that aren’t bacon

By Brad Keefe and Jesse Tigges
From the March 21, 2013 edition

We love our vegetarian friends, but this week’s meatball-centric cover story has us thinking carnivorous, so we’re ranking the greatest meats of all time — excluding bacon, because obviously that’s not fair. Everybody loves bacon.

10. Turkey

When American families gather around the table for the holidays, they gather around a turkey. “Save the neck for me, Clark.”

9. Ribs

The meat that invented eating off the bone, ribs are so good we even crave the occasional guilty pleasure of the McRib — thankfully, for a limited time only.

8. Street

The best worst decision you can make after a night of drinking. It may not feel good, but it sure does taste good.

7. Crab

If tuna is the chicken of the sea, crab is the filet mignon. It’s our favorite meat to eat in cake form.

6. Soylent Green

Don’t knock it till you try it.

5. Hamburger

“It's a hamburger made out of meat on a bun with nothing. Add ketchup if you want, I couldn't care less.” — Ron Swanson

4. Lamb

Thinking about where your meal comes from when dining on lamb is one of the leading causes of vegetarianism, but oh, is it delicious.

3. Sausage

It’s the United Nations of meats, with so many countries having their own version (kielbasa, chorizo, Italian, hot dog, etc.). Plus, face it, it’s the next best thing to bacon at breakfast.

2. Chicken

Wings? Love ’em. Fried chicken? Awesome. And if it wasn’t for chicken, how would we know what virtually every other meat tastes like?

1. Steak

There’s a reason nobody has successfully invented fake steak yet. It can’t be done.