Where do you rank on the “Mad Men” drinking scale?

By Columbus Alive
From the April 4, 2013 edition

“Mad Men” is a show where almost everyone enjoys a libation or five. And don’t we all? So here’s a chart for you to determine how you are at holding your liquor with “Mad Men” characters as examples.

Tier One:

Lightweight [1 or 2 drinks]

You enjoy the booze, but you’re not a big drinker and get a little tipsy quickly. Examples include Sally Draper for the one time she snuck some nippers at the office, and Trudy Campbell, enormously giggly after a couple. These are either cheap dates or underage drinkers — be sure not to confuse the two.

The jerk [2 drinks]

Two drinks and you turn into Pete Campbell.

Tier Two:

Go home, you’re drunk [4-6 drinks]

There are those who often drink to excess like Don, but are usually OK. Then there are those like Duck Phillips and Freddy Rumsen. One or two and next thing you know you pissed your pants in the office. If you’re here, it may be time to consider a “meeting.”

Unflappable [6 drinks]

Peggy Olson always seems on top of her game, whether writing copy or dealing with the shenanigans in the office. She’s even taken care of a few drunken coworkers — I’m looking at you, Freddy and Don. Plus, Peggy is now mixing her liquor with the occasional joint and is still super cool. A rare find, but the best drinking buddy.

Tier three:

Tormented [8-plus drinks]

Yes, Don can drink, but he’s also known to have a few blunders when he’s had too many — it happens when you’re all bottled-up angst and emotional turmoil. A prime example is Don’s bender in Season 4’s “The Suitcase” — mean to Peggy, vomits, passes out on Peggy.

Yes, I’ll have another [infinity drinks]

Roger Sterling represents the apex of drinking. He can pretty much drink all day and never be affected — in fact, his one-liners only get better. Seriously, is Roger drinking vodka or water? The only thing that makes Roger puke is climbing the stairs when the elevator is out of order.