The List: People to ignore

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From the August 1, 2013 edition

This week is Alive’s annual People to Watch issue, which celebrates the damn good people doing great things in Columbus. We’re so proud to have them represent our city with utmost character and hope you keep an eye on the cool projects they’re involved . Unfortunately, we all get too wrapped up in the tabloid tales and incendiary news involving national celebrities. So here’s a list of people to ignore and focus on those doing good.

10. Me

I am about to talk a bunch of s--- about people I don’t really know, so I shouldn’t act all high and mighty.

9. Taylor Swift

We get it! You hate your exes. Maybe you should pick better ones. Oh wait, then you wouldn’t have anything to write pop songs about.

8. Simon Cowell

Everyone else stopped watching “X-Factor,” why shouldn’t you?

7. Justin Beiber

I know he’s just a kid, but the tyke just seems like a jerk emboldened by our attention.

6. The Kardashians

Has there ever been a group of people more famous for adding nothing to the cultural landscape? They’re just famous for kowtowing to tabloid media. Oh, and a sex tape. Well done.

5. Rex Reed

Reed probably isn’t very well known outside of film buff circles, but this movie critic isn’t just habitually wrong, he’s also mean-spirited and unprofessional.

4. Real Housewives

Thanks, Bravo. What we really needed was a bazillion reality shows with these harpies. Couldn’t we just get more “Top Chef”?

3. Sarah Palin

Every politico — on both sides — is self-serving with their message about how those who think differently are wrong/immoral/evil/destroying the country, but Palin just seems so fake. And dumb.

2. Lindsay Lohan, Amanda Bynes, Charlie Sheen, DMX, Britney Spears, etc.

Look, some people have serious problems and we shouldn’t compound them by gawking at the train-wreck. It’s seems fascinating now, but how would you feel if it ends tragically?

1. Teen Moms

Stop enabling this behavior.Kids shouldn’t be having kids — especially to gain notoriety. Do we really want another Farrah Abraham?