As a professional glutton, I can safely announce that anyone who thinks he or she can eat this behemoth in a single sitting needs therapy. Hell, with its outrageous layers of juice-oozing, irresistible favorites, this “leaning-tower-of-meatsa” is even difficult to hoist.
Imagine a teeming roster of terrific deli delights energized by a last-second grilling — moist real roast beef, briny corned beef, racy pastrami and soothing turkey. Now imagine all this warmed-up wonderfulness corralled on top-notch, griddled-to-crispy rye bread spackled with gooey melted Swiss cheese and painted with mayonnaise and Dijon mustard, and risibly “veggie-fied” with slivers of lettuce and tomato (you know, for the health).
Now further imagine a frenzied food writer with glistening fingers — and an intent and debris-smeared face betraying shark eyes swiveling to the back of his head — vainly attempting to bite through a mile-high sandwich that’s literally tumbling apart. If you can envision this — along with demented laughter — then you know how much fun I recently had at Lexi’s (even though I un-triumphantly threw in the napkin half-way through).