Not an Ohio State football fan? Join the mostly anonymous, passive agressive club! Here are some tips for tailgating when those you love ask you to tag along.
1) Do not bring sugar-free orange juice for the early-morning mimosas. An immediate reveal of your low-level commitment to this shindig is discouraged. However, cheap champagne is fine. Booze, they’ll tell you, is booze is booze is… HOLY S--- IS THAT BRUTUS?
2) Don't ever mention that time ESPN named Ohio State's football fans the worst (read: most annoying) fans in college football. Follow this advice not necessarily because your tailgaters will be mad at you, but because they will try to prove to you how they are not the worst by being the worst.
3) As things start to get sloppy, think to yourself that you are cheersing/ waterfalling/ socialling/ Edward-40-hands-ing to President Gordon Gee, not the football team. While you’re at it, pour one out for the formerly most adorable man in higher education.
4) Bring boredom backup. Angry Birds is a reliable classic.
5) Don't accidentally wear blue, gold or a jersey number whose current or former player you know nothing about. If you wear a jersey to the party, do a little Googling first so you’ll know which misdemeanor to joke about.