Boots: From Target. “It’s got a tongue. I should put googly eyes on them.”
Leg warmers: “These belonged to my mother. She wore them when she did aerobics, specifically Jane Fonda. I have all Jane Fonda’s workout tapes, even the pregnancy ones.”
Tights: Spandex from a thrift store.
Underwear: “From a thrift store. Just kidding. I wear underwear over my tights to keep my tights up. But my mom did always teach me to wear as many underpants as possible because there are perverts out there.”
Dress: $5 thrift store find.
Belt: From a thrift store. “I’m always going back to a cowboys and Indians aesthetic.”
Muscles: “By the Arena District Athletic Club. I’m trying to get a free membership.”
Eyeliner: “The mistake most people make is they use liquid eyeliner and that’s too dangerous.”
Earrings: Homemade with Sculpey polymer clay.
Glasses: “From a secret online location that I don’t want to tell you because I don’t want to see other people with my glasses. … Everyone in my family has glasses so I would have needed them anyway, but I cheated on my first eye exam in fourth or fifth grade because I wanted glasses. I think my eyes have been ruined since.”