Flavored vodka quiz: Real or fake?

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From the February 6, 2014 edition

Flavored spirits have been the rage for years now, and you can get vodkas that taste like most anything you can imagine. But can you tell which of these flavors are real and which ones we made up?

  • 1. Smoked salmon
  • 2. PB&J
  • 3. Ninja
  • 4. Fruit Loops
  • 5. Glazed donut
  • 6. Sex Panther
  • 7. Sriracha
  • 8. Cookie dough
  • 9. Green tea
  • 10. Whiskey
  • 11. Wasabi
  • 12. Cinnabon
  • 13. Sandalwood
  • 14. Menthol Tobacco
  • 15. Pickle
  • 16. Cool Ranch
  • 17. Scorpion
  • 18. Jolly Ranchers
  • 19. Fresh-cut grass
  • 20. Tonic water

Answer key:

1. Real. You can mix this with No. 11 for a delicious sushi roll shot.

2. Real. There’s already peanut butter vodka and fruit vodka, but who has time to combine them?

3. Fake. But this would be a very stealthy flavor.

4. Real. Although the vodka doesn’t say it expressly (due to brand copyright), it does taste eerily like the breakfast cereal.

5. Real. We don’t want to know what exactly makes it “glazed.”

6. Fake. Trick question. There’s actually a Sex Panther beer, not vodka, though we aren’t sure it contains real bits of panther.

7. Real. There’s also super-hot Naga chili vodka that measures a terrifying 250,000 Scoville units on the hot scale.

8. Real. All the cookie dough taste with none of the cookie dough texture. Wha?!

9. Real. Perfect for health-conscious people who want to chug vodka after their Ashtanga Yoga class.

10. Fake. However, there is actually a tequila-flavored rum, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

11. Real. In cold season, it’s good to have a liquor that also clears the sinuses.

12. Real. Who thought this was a good idea? As Louis CK once said, “No one is happy in the Cinnabon line.”

13. Fake. But in a pre-date pinch, guys could do a shot then dab a little on themselves for the scent.

14. Real. Because vodka maker Ivanabitch’s regular Tobacco flavor wasn’t good enough.

15. Real. Because pickles are always better with a hint of rubbing alcohol.

16. Fake. Collaborating with Doritos was huge for Taco Bell. This idea is a gold mine. Please make the check payable to “Brad Keefe and Jesse Tigges.”

17. Real. As the Skorppio website states, “[This] is a premium, five-time distilled vodka that is enriched with a real, edible scorpion.”

18. Fake. The classic first-time drinker way to add flavor to clear alcohol (see also: Zima) isn’t an actual product … yet.

19. Real. Sure, everyone loves the smell of fresh-cut grass, but no one is running out to chew on clippings after dad mows the lawn.

20. Fake. Until someone invents this, we won’t be able to order a “Tonic Vodka Tonic.”