By Jackie Mantey
Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman died of an apparent heroin overdose. Literally everyone is sad to see him go to the big Lebowski in the sky.
Animal Planet’s annual pre-Super Bowl cutefest, the Puppy Bowl, pulled huge ratings for the network — around 3.3 million viewers. Racist tweets soon followed, though, in outrage that the puppies were not speaking American.
The entertainment media has been buzzing with the story that Bruce Jenner (the Kardashian sisters’ mom’s ex-husband) is in transition to become a woman because he now wears stud earrings and has been getting a lot of plastic surgery. If this is our standard for suspecting a man is becoming a woman, then the big ruse is that there really are no men in Hollywood.
Singer Gwen Stefani tweeted a picture of herself in 1983 getting Sting’s autograph. In the tweet she called her young, average-looking self “chunky,” much to the body-righteous anger of the internet. “If anyone is going to call a young celebrity fat,” said the internet, “It’s going to be us!”
Actor Zac Efron would neither confirm nor deny to Conan O’Brien that he took Viagra to prepare for his role in the new movie “That Awkward Moment.” That’s right, friends. Zac Efron is in a movie called “That Awkward Moment.”
In related news: “The Bachelor” is still on air because we are horrible.