Pop Culture: Sports Bites

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From the March 13, 2014 edition

BIG Z

Golak: Former Cavs center Zydrunas Ilgauskas got his jersey retired in Cleveland this past weekend and invited former teammate LeBron James to the ceremony, which James accepted. Is this the sports version of inviting an ex you were close with to your wedding?

Sumukh: Sure. But, if so, imagine your ex found a better person, had more success and ended up becoming the type of person everyone would want to be with. But, hey, it's good you're still friends I guess.

DO THE WORM

Sumukh: Dennis Rodman announced that he won't return to North Korea if it's not what people want. So, what country would you want Rodman to visit now?

Golak: I'd like to see him take a trip to Mexico. I think he could solve the drug epidemic in that country by doing them all over the course of a crazy weekend.

TIED UP

Golak: Ohio high schools Sylvania Northview and Cleveland St. Ignatius were declared ice hockey state co-champions after the two schools played to a 1-1 draw after seven overtimes. The coaches and athletic directors of the schools decided to call the game square after massive player fatigue and no backup plan on the books for a swifter ending — like a shootout. They say ties are like kissing your sister. What does this game equate to smooching?

Sumukh: Kissing no one. An even bigger issue than the idea of "state co-champions" is that I don't think there's a person over the age of 18 with no personal connection to it that actually cares about the outcome of a high school hockey game.

STRONG START

Sumukh: The Columbus Crew kicked off its season with a 3-0 win at D.C. United on Saturday night. With huge roster turnover this offseason and a new coach in Gregg Berhalter, is it too early to get excited?

Golak: One thing fans aren’t excited about is the Crew’s new TV deal with Time Warner Cable. But, on the bright side, soccer fans, a high-profile yet alienating and convoluted TV deal is the first step toward legitimizing your sport in the states.