Things We Love: John Caparulo’s picks

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From the March 20, 2014 edition

As of this writing, three of comedian John “Cap” Caparulo’s upcoming shows at the Funny Bone in Columbus were sold-out. The remaining four shows probably will as well. The dude’s a funny, uh, dude, but this is also something of a homecoming for the “Chelsea Lately” regular. Caparulo grew up in Ohio and attended Kent State University before embarking on his comedy career. In fact, when I contacted his wife, Jamie, about this “interview,” she mentioned family members had plans to attend all the shows. (Full disclosure: Jamie’s mom was my eighth-grade science teacher). As always, these are a few of his favorite things, as written by John (or maybe Jamie).

“The Simpsons”

It was and still is my favorite show of all time. Sure, its episodes have been hit-and-miss for the past 10-12 years, but the misses still look like hits for other shows. And the hits make them all look like jerk asses.

Dogs

We have two of them. Barney and Scobie can't help but ruin every meal, soil every rug and make me laugh every time I see them. I’m always touched by their excitement when I walk in the door, but then I realize they act the same way about kibble three times a day.

Apple TV

It's made every hotel TV a smart TV, and watching PBS feels less educational!! I pretty much carry a Best Buy in my backpack when I travel. And a thermos.

The Patriots

Like the Chicago Bulls in the ’90s, I love watching the greats be great, no matter where they play or what colors they wear. I tried to like the new “Browns” at first, but I decided that I like football too much to let them ruin it for me.

My Bidet Seat

It was the first birthday present I got from my wife, and nothing promotes self-confidence quite like a fresh butt!! If I could fit that into my backpack, I would. The seat, I mean. No butt is fresh enough to keep in a backpack.