Sports Bites

By
From the March 27, 2014 edition

LONG GAME

Golak: The MLB season kicked off in Australia. They played the games at converted cricket grounds. Do you picture an Australian saying, "You call this a slow-paced, long-gestating sport? [Pulls out cricket mallet.] This is a slow-paced, long-gestating sport"?

Sumukh: No, I picture Americans having no idea what Australians are like.

BUFFETT'S BILLIONS

Sumukh: After the first round of the NCAA Tournament, no one's bracket survived Warren Buffett's "Billion Dollar Bracket Challenge." I thought it was possible at least one person could go 32-0. What do you think prevented that from happening?

Golak: I think it was the pressure. I mean, a billion dollars! The thought of taking down 185 bucks in my buddy's pool had me picking Wichita State to win it all. Stupid!

CRIMEA RIVER

Golak: Russian and Ukrainian boxing teams will compete as scheduled on March 30 in the World Series of Boxing quarterfinals. Boxing? MMA? Wrestling? Isn't this ironic match-up just highlighting that war is the ultimate combat sport?

Sumukh: Yes, but if we've learned anything from such politics in combat sports in pop culture, this won't end with the Rocky of the Ukranian team giving a passionate speech in the ring or the teams uniting to sing a pop song together (yes, that's a "Head of the Class" reference).

WE'RE GOING STREAKING

Sumukh: The Philadelphia 76ers have lost 24 straight games. Have you seen any team look worse or be so obviously tanking in professional sports?

Golak: The Cav's 17-65 record during the 2002-03 season rings a bell. Besides the record itself, if you want proof of how bad that season was, Google “Ricky Davis,” follow the first search suggestion, which is “Ricky Davis Triple Double,” watch the YouTube video that tops the search results and let the face-palming begin.