Pop Culture: Gossip This!

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From the April 17, 2014 edition

JWoww, the least annoying girl of “Jersey Shore” fame, told reporters that she “fucking hates” being pregnant because of how much it is changing her body, like making her thighs touch and shifting her meticulously shaped breasts. To make herself feel better, she signed up for six face surgeries and a tail transplant.

Rapper-turned-actor Ice Cube said he was mad that he and actor Kevin Hart did not win the MTV Movie Awards’ Best On-Screen Duo title for their turn in “Ride Along.” They were, as Cube put it, “robbed” by Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, who won for “Fast & Furious 6.” Also, he added, “Beyonce seriously had the best music video of all time.”

Speaking of award-winning duos, the rappers of Outkast reunited for the first time in years for a performance at Coachella music festival. Jury says: It was awkward, as no one knew any of the songs except the big hits. But alas, what did we expect from rich white kids wearing Native American headdresses and elf shoes?

In other Coachella socialite news, Kelly Osbourne tweeted about being upset at Paris Hilton for snubbing her at the festival. Paris didn’t say hi to Kelly and, we’re assuming, hid Kelly’s pom-poms before the big game. Paris tweeted back that she has no idea what all the drama is about and she looooves Coachella.

Beloved actor Mickey Rooney died. His will revealed he only had $18,000 to his name thanks to a few famous divorces and money mismanagement by his eighth wife’s son. Stars! They’re just like us!