This week’s interview with Dan “Dragon” Spohn, who is competing for a UFC contract on “The Ultimate Fighter,” has us thinking of who we’d like to see face-off in a fight. Let’s ring the bell on these 10 killer bouts.
10. Rocky Balboa vs. Mike Tyson
The Italian Stallion versus the Baddest Man on the Planet would be a boxing match for the ages. We all know Tyson can hand out some beatings and Rocky can surely take one. It’s too tough to predict a winner here.
9. Dalton vs. Frank Dux
It’s a battle of ’80s cult movie brawlers as Patrick Swayze’s “Road House” character squares off against Jean-Claude Van Damme’s “Bloodsport” character. From ripped throats to splintered shin bones, this one would not be for the faint of heart.
8. Mean Girls vs. Heathers
Who would win in a battle of the cliques from these high school clique movies? They might not throw punches, but, omigod, there would be so much judging.
7. Maverick vs. Jerry McGuire
Tom Cruise fights Tom Cruise? Everybody wins (except Tom Cruise).
6. Yoda vs. Kermit
It’s not easy being little and green. You’d think Yoda would run away with this, right? Well, that’s because you’ve never seen Kermit throwdown. It’s called the element of surprise.
5. The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones
The age-old question often used to define one’s musical persona finally gets settled once and for all, in what turns out to be a big sissy fight. Still, “All You Need is Love” vs. “Street Fightin’ Man.” We’re going Stones here.
4. Liz Lemon vs. Leslie Knope
What would happen if the signature characters of real-life friends Tina Fey and Amy Poehler faced-off? Probably more a war of words than fisticuffs, but who would win?
3. Pete Campbell vs. Bane
Pete got out-boxed by Lane Pryce. Bane broke Batman. Oh how joyous it would be to see Bane beat the ever-loving crap out “Mad Men’s” most loathsome account executive.
2. The Bride vs. Indigo Montoya
It’s “Kill Bill” vs. “The Princess Bride” in the ultimate revenge-driven swordfight! “You killed my father. Prepare to die.” vs. “You and I have unfinished business.”
1. Rust Cohle vs. Tyler Durden
The Pessimistic Detective vs. The Anarchist Brawler promises to be the fight of the century. Cohle and Durden clash while spouting morose philosophies at each other in a battle of wits and fists. Although, once “Time is a flat circle” meets “You’re not a beautiful and unique snowflake” these two might turn out to be best friends.