Downtown Abbey: On a Saturday; topics discussed: Cupcakes, Happy Pills, Sludge vomit

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From the April 24, 2014 edition

It was impossible to tell who was modeling in a show, and who was just embracing their inner club kid; but it isn’t called “Drauma” for nothing.

Sludge-vomiting models, cupcake-clad glamazons and a couple L.A. electro-pop starlets descended upon The Bluestone Saturday for the fashion/dance party mash-up, leaving glitter-covered party-goers with something to gossip about.

We arrived at The Bluestone relatively early, but the show was well underway. In the main chamber, Crys Darling’s dessert-inspired line was strutting down the runway complete with derby-worthy hats and towering hair pieces. The audience doubled as wedding guests for the cherry-topped finale. Donning candy-covered bustiers and voluminous tutus, models Trulie Scrumptious and Maulie Squee sealed their mock nuptials with a kiss.

As I navigated through the crowd, I couldn’t tell who was there to show off someone else's fashion stylings and who bought a ticket at the front door to show off their own. From a proud Canadian guy in overalls, to corset-adorned dolls, no ensemble was too much.

Upstairs, Shawndy “SpiderThroat” was spinning goth-infused dance music, creating a stark contrast from the candy-coated scene downstairs. Outside, I was greeted by heavy bass as a rotating cast of Columbus DJs fueled an EDM-focused dance party on the patio, for those more interested in raves than runways.

It was a hell of a way to spend my birthday. Oh, did I mention it was my birthday?

Up next, was L.A.-by-way-of-Columbus designer Lindsay Hearts. Right where Darling’s wedding ended, Hearts’ divorce began. The first looks featured giggly models toting balloons in heart-shaped glasses. The show then took a dark turn when the models reached the end of the runway. The audience was met with a mouth full of black sludge, which fell from each model’s mouth onto their wedding-inspired ensembles. One model knelt as another spewed the black ooze into her mouth. It became obvious Hearts was purging the remnants of a toxic relationship all over the runway, in the form of black vomit.

L.A.-based electro-pop duo Happy Pills closed Drauma with a high-energy performance, leaving audience members wanting more. On the way out, I overheard several people say they couldn’t wait until next year.

The next morning I woke up fully expecting the entire floor of my apartment to be covered in glitter. Happy #Aprilnathy to me.

Downtown Abbey is a twice-monthly account of a random night on the town (and all the meanderings and mischief that might entail).