The bear-themed decor at the new Columbus burger spot Bareburger has us counting down our favorites, so please bear with us.
10. Winnie the Pooh
A.A. Milne’s beloved bear comes in at the bottom of the list? Oh, bother.
9. Teddy Ruxpin
This animatronic bear (who was in no way creepy, seriously) was the prized toy for any kid in the ’80s. And the bane of existence to any teenage sister who had to share a room with her little brother and listen to Teddy’s stories every night while trying to sleep.
8. Corporal Wojtek
Wojtek was an orphaned bear cub found in Iran who was later officially drafted by the Polish army during WWII — Wojtek would salute officers — and even helped transport ammunition during battle. While fighting Nazis is pretty badass, Wojtek didn’t stop there; he drank beer and smoked (and ate) cigarettes.
7. Paddington Bear
The ever-polite British bear really nailed that hat/raincoat/galoshes look.
6. Smokey Bear/Pedobear/Sexual Harassment Panda
Need a spokesperson for your public-service announcement? Get a bear.
5. Yogi Bear & Boo Boo
The two greatest smash-and-grab bear burglars (of “pic-a-nic baskets”) of all-time.
4. B.J. & the Bear
A late ’70s/early ’80s TV series with an unintentionally homoerotic title featured a truck driver named B.J. (played by Greg Evigan of “My Two Dads”!) and his pet chimpanzee Bear (named after football coach Bear Bryant!). This narrowly edged out our other favorite bear from TV of the era, Officer Barry "Bear" Baricza of “CHiPs.”
Mowgli’s bear buddy from “The Jungle Book” taught us to appreciate the simple things in life with his impossibly catchy song, “The Bare Necessities.”
2. Walter Payton
Chicago Bears running back “Sweetness” was one of the greatest the NFL had ever seen. Payton held the all-time rushing record until a way-past-his-prime Emmitt Smith broke it. And Payton was pretty awesome in “Tecmo Bowl,” too.
1. Fozzie Bear
Fozzie is an inspiration for hack standup comics everywhere who’ll never give up (see: Jeff Dunham). “Wocka, wocka, wocka” indeed.