Pop Culture: Gossip This!

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From the May 15, 2014 edition

This weekend we witnessed the elevator slap heard ’round the internet. As they were leaving the Met Gala, Beyonce, Jay-Z and Solange entered an elevator, and soon Solange, who is Beyonce’s sister, started punching and kicking Jay-Z as Beyonce watched. The security footage from the elevator made the rounds earlier this week. No word yet on what Solange was so angry about, but rumors include that J was cheating on Bey. Eat the cake, Hova Mae.

Before singing her hit “Wrecking Ball” at a concert in London, Miley Cyrus gave a soliloquy about a mean ex that, although expletive-filled, had some interesting undertones about men getting to have all the confidence and how she now has a lot of confidence and, thus, a giant male package. Her rant was presumably about actor and former fiancé Liam Hemsworth. She then licked a giant inflatable penis. She showed him!

A man named James Safechuck (real name) has publicly accused Michael Jackson of molesting him after the two appeared in a 1987 Pepsi commercial together. What’s the ratio of hit songs MJ had compared to the number of molestation accusers he has?

Both of Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith’s teenage kids were the subject of separate controversy last week for photographs of them that “surfaced” (a shirtless Jaden was sitting on Kylie Jenner’s lap and Willow with a shirtless boy lounging on a bed). Their mom got scared. Now they’re living with their auntie and uncle in Bel Air.

Casey Kasem, the legendary radio announcer of the Top 40 countdown, is missing. The attorney for Kasem’s wife revealed in court earlier this week that no one knows where the wife or Kasem, who suffers from Parkinson’s disease, are. More after this commercial break…