World Cup preview: A massive guide to sports’ biggest spectacle

By
From the June 12, 2014 edition

The world’s largest sporting event (half of Earth watched the last go-round) is also its biggest spectacle (from celebrity witch doctors crippling star players and the healing powers of horse placenta to psychic octopuses and on-field headbutts to the chest). Who knows what kind of shenanigans will occur this summer, but it’ll surely be riveting television, on-field and off.

To prepare you, we’ve compiled the Alive-iest World Cup guide possible, by bringing out the big hitters (former Aliver Chris DeVille), explaining the tournament’s structure via semi-elaborate board game metaphors, email arguments, Frankie Hejduk commandments and a bar guide.